FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

4,991 - 5,000 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @outlander

how are you this morning

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

struggling abit @Shaz51

how are you? i seen you got alot more rain overnight too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sorry to hear that @outlander, have you shared it on you other thread xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

not yet @Shaz51 i dont really know what to write. i know but i dont know- does that make sense

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave


@outlanderwrote:

not yet @Shaz51 i dont really know what to write. i know but i dont know- does that make sense


when I read your above response....I immediately wanted to reassure you that sometimes we just don't know and that is a good thing....sounds weird I know...

by not knowing we allow ourselves more time to think about what it actually is....what the feelings are...accepting those feelings...then checking how we are again...

that might be enough...just letting it be...

if you find that you still want to talk about something...again a good thing...you will have a clearer idea of what you might want to say...

all of this is self care as you know...

it is also self discovery...a big part of your healing journey

so I think this experience is positive...a step forward...into your self awareness...insight..

please do not think that I am minimising any intensity of pain or feelings that you are feeling..

this is purely my opinion on what I have perceived in reading your post...

I might be totally off kilter...

if that is the case I am still thinking of you and in this way letting you know that you matter

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Former-Member it doesnt sound weird. we all have those days where we just dont know- i guess its one of those days. built up kinda stuff like family expectations, med worries, feeling like a failure and not sure what else to do to help myself, teary and emotional. i just dont feel i dont know 'right' but cant pinpoint what it is. just low and tired in all aspects of life maybe abit of boredom in there

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @eth

lovely that you had a walk with the dog...me thinks that the dog is probably quite close to you now...

that is a good saving...I always talk into the blasted machine and emphatically say operator...

those recorded press this number and that number inevitably ends up giving me information that I haven't asked for...

Whilst I don't get hand tremors my anxiety levels rise so I much prefer to talk to a human being...

I am hoping that you are feeling a little better each day with your medication change...

I have had to resort to prn on some days due to current situation with older son...I try not to take it on consecutive days...some days though like yesterday I need more than 1 tablet...dealing with the public health psychiatry system is no easy task even for someone with very good health...

I have walked around and around the return verandah this morning whilst I had different sprinklers on...

was going to attempt some pruning but far too hot here now...

take care @eth and hello to all other ravers

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

understand @outlander

as you say you are acknowledging that you are feeling low and tired in all aspects of life...very draining

families ...gosh...they are the cause of so much heartache ...the ones that judge...blame..advise...have all the answers and believe themselves to be helping...

I file those moments away in the ....they just don't get me....don't want to try ...don't want to accept me as who I really am...therefore there issue...will not let them affect me any longer....

does take a bit of practise...reciting...chanting laugh ...you could make a special ceremony and a chant..

You have just given me an idea....I will think about it first...as I advised you laugh...then add to my what if thread...

rest up day sounds good for you at the moment...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It does makes sense, I know exactly what you mean @outlander

Hello @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Former-Member

yes this morning i work up to mum saying can you watch the little one cause shes sick and needs to go to worse. and then was adviced that next week ill need to stay over their house to watch the kids as mum will be out with her sister after a quick arrangement. id rather just keep to myself with family, they dont give a hoot anyway unless i do something wrong. ill try to file the thoughts away since ive acknowledged them now, just hard to do sometimes. pops having one of his annoying days too which isnt helping at all. right now id rather take a cool shower and go to bed- barely sleeping atm and having alot of really hot flushes after having temps for a few days.

how are going anyway?

4,991 - 5,000 of 27,230