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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, great with the new poem. What kind of site do you publish them on? Yum, pumpkin scones.

I have the doctor tomorrow and a creative event on tomorrow night not far from here. It will be the second time I've gone to this event and I will be meeting someone for the first time that I have collaborated with over the net. Exciting.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's a fb site @Mazarita. I'd love to tell you more but I'd be breaking the rules here. I might start putting some on the Writing as a form of therapy thread again soon.

Great that you're getting to creative events. I might be going to a gypsy band on this sat and then am going to a poetry event for Hiroshima day the following weekend. Looking forward to that as I already love the host's writing and live performance.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Cool, sounds like maybe an FB group. I am a member of a few of them, @eth. But there are probably millions of them. Look forward to reading what you post here on the forum. Gypsy band sounds great, as does a poetry night. I think it's fantastic that we are both starting to do these things in the really real.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah @Mazarita hope your Muse speaks to you too. Mine has returned to me recently, during the woman unleashed course.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is so good, @eth. I am struggling with a project at the moment, at the stage where I feel 'lost' in it. Moving it forward inch by inch, working in short bursts and then putting it away when I get anxious about the feeling of being lost with it for now.

Meanwhile, I am focussing a bit more on 'real life' matters, which is not at all a bad thing. It's a good week here so far, despite illness and odd external events on Tuesday that I haven't described here yet. Out every day so far and loving it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's good to hear you're having a better week @Mazarita. Do you want to talk about Tuesday's events?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, a bipolar friend organised a get together for me at her place on Tuesday. It was a belated birthday lunch (I didn't mention b-day on the forum because I feel it's too identifying to publish that date here).

Anyway, we were to meet at 1.30pm. But when I got there, only her new 'boyfriend' was there. He was already pissed. They both have big problems with alcohol and met recently in detox. She eventually turned up about 2 hours late, having recently also just stopped all her medications. The whole occasion was so uncomfortable. They were very sexual in their talk all afternoon and tried to get me into bed with them. The thought of it actually turned my stomach. There was more, but that's enough! After I got home, I vomited violently. I think it may have been partly an emotional reaction to what went down.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh F*&k @Mazarita what an awful experience. I would cut my ties with those people if I were in your shoes. Hoping you had some nice moments on your birthday aside from that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, it was not good, @eth. I didn't mention when the 'boyfriend' cut himself on his chef kn-ife and just basically went wandering around dripping blood everywhere.

I've been friends with this woman for about six years. She's always struggled badly with her bipolar and alcoholism. I won't cut her off because I understand the craziness of bipolar. But I will avoid being around again when the new 'boyfriend' is there. He's not really her boyfriend but it's too complicated to explain. I'm actually worried about her with this guy.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't blame you for being concerned about her @Mazarita. I would also make sure I hadn't contacted his blood and get tested if I had. And that's serious not paranoid. I'm concerned about you having a friend who is clearly acting toxic at this time, but I do understand your desire to be loyal. Don't forget your own needs in this.

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