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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Exactly @outkander .....

The “don’t lie down in their path” bit means don’t leave yourself open to them walking all over you any more than you can help it .... because it’s their nature to do that ..... so recognise it and protect yourself from it as much as you can without it becoming your total focus .....

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope that makes sense. Thats those walls you were talking about before too but still being polite isnt it

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes @outlander re cards close to your heart and learn to trust your own instincts....all part of learning to believe in yourself...

I believe that last comment made by Faith and Hope means....accept them as they are also with their own shortcomings...they are individuals with their own issues...each of us unique...

rise above their behaviour and love them in your own way not their way of loving...respect them in your own way...be with them in your own way...

does that make sense?? those are my thoughts...

Faith and Hope will explain her own meaning...

my surgery is 26/3 admission operation next day...possibly 5 days in hospital then rehab if available if not wait in hospital until it is...apart from that have received nothing...not the best considering am in top private health cover...still as my psychiatrist has told me I need to learn my limitations....in other words laugh...I cannot take on the whole world....with my moments of passion for action...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Ahh mohill words of wisdom from your psychiatrist I will remember those when I am starting to slip off the slippery slope ...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @Former-Member yes it all makes sense. I learn alot from what you guys say on here even with different perspectives-thats what i like the most that everyone has their own take on things.
Thats not too far away, i hope it goes well and that you recieve the best care they have to offer. Might even offer you decent meals besides that mush 😉

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That’s it exactly @Former-Member ..... and yes @outlander you can create boundaries and live your own way without being rude about it .... politeness keeps things civil and keeping things civil is generally more peaceful for everybody. When they are rude to you, do the “water off a duck’s back” thing and let it slide cos it’s not a one-off that can be addressed. You are dealing with people who will rise to making and issue out of anything / everything ..... so don’t give them opportunity if you can help it ..... we are all human tho, so if you lose it with them sometimes, forgive yourself for it and go back to ignoring what shouldn’t have been said.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins .... 👋

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope that helps alot just have to keep remembering and practicing it too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope So true! Personally i do the cold shoulder that tends to work well 😛

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope Hi Faith-and-Hope! the other way is to be silent and just ignore and then occasionally give them a blast which gives them such a shock they are taken aback and then go back to what you were doing.

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