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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ciao for now, @Bunniekins. ox

Really glad you are here and chatting, @eth. I too had the anger problem, especially when I came off the big mania, was still agitated but in a bad way. In fact, I have had a serious anger problem at various times in my life (though never physically abusive to anyone). That's one of the reasons I am prescribed anti-psychotics I think. I can't stand myself like that, hate myself in fact. It's taking me a long time to forgive myself for being such an angry woman at times in the past, the damaged done. I too spent about the same amount of time, 20 years, diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety, until my bipolar was recognised. Then things started to get better as I was treated with better medications after that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Forgiveness @Mazarita- such a long road. Also the risky behaviours and poor relationship choices made because of the bipolar highs - looking back I wonder how many of the traumatic events were contributed to by all this - culminating in complex PTSD on top of the bipolar 1. Impossible to separate the effects of both by now. And on top of that my adult child is still in therapy because of the consequences on them and a very traumatic childhood which I blame myself for. On the surface they have forgiven me but deep down the effects are still profound for both of us.

Not only self-blame, but not being able to trust my brain any more a lot of the time

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I get that lack of confidence in my own judgement too sometimes, @eth. But in some ways I was too cocky when I was younger. It's probably taught me I don't know everything, in fact can predict very little really.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too @Mazarita

I think partly what triggered my feelings yesterday is that the evening before it became clear that if I want to go with bro to Canberra to visit adult child and granddaughter I will have to catch the train to Sydney by myself as he is going down the day before. This would also involve getting to the station from home by myself. 3 times Friday night I woke up in a panic about it. I just can't do it. For me the train seems even more risky than a plane - not the train itself but the chance of trouble from other passengers' unpredictable behaviour. Similar issue with walking alone to the station.

Considering I used to get around all over the country by all sorts of transport, especially when manic, I feel I've fallen a long way. I need to know I am safe, can't take risks at all compared to before. Surely there is a happy medium somewhere.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I can understand how depressing it might be to realise those limitations, @eth. I am really hoping some med changes will help turn things around for you. I too am so much more nervous about everything to do with travel than I used to be. I think part of it is just aging and feeling more vulnerable because of that. Another part of it is mental illness.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Once again I agree @Mazarita

Back to the now ......... do you have plans for today or will you try to get some more sleep? I'm having a quiet day here before a busy 3 days - car safety check, psychiatrist, computer course on files and folders, phams afternoon ... it seems life is all or nothing here. Only a couple of weeks back and the only thing I had on was the phams afternoon including a psychology ap't every 2nd week - at home all bar wednesday afternoons.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, today I am starting to get myself ready for travel on Thursday. Fair bit to organise and I'm slow at doing things, as usual. In one way I'm glad to hear you have a busy week ahead, though I know it can sometimes feel a bit hectic when things have been quiet. I will probably also get some more sleep today too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I have a list that lives in my suitcase and makes packing a bit easier when I travel. Maybe making a list would help you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have been making notes for travel, @eth. There are other things I need to do too before I go, like organise the video materials I am taking down (fairly time consuming), clean my bathroom so it doesn't look horrible to come back to (overdue job). Other things I need to fit in this week before going too, like haircut etc. I might look back on my notes from last trip too to hopefully make sure I don't forget anything.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Busy week for you too then @Mazarita. Hoping you are starting to look forward to your trip by now. Excited about your screening.

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