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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am sorry you have lost a friend but really happy that you have a potential other coming into your life. IT is hard to lose a friend. I had weird dreams last night too boardering in nightmares. Woke up on and off and kept dreaming.

I believe there is alot of meaning to dreams. Particularly of people who have died. I dreamt of my mother in law again the other night and she was smiling at me sweetly. It was a nice dream.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Thanks Maz xxx take care I am off to do some things around the house and outside.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning

@Mazarita @Shaz51 @CheerBear@outlander @Bunniekins

I am off to an appoitnment with my son.

A major issue I am having is where can I be .. in my skin ... in my home ... in my city ...feeling buffetted and that I am too sensitive but not sure how to toughen up without going overboard.

@BunniekinsGo for it with the study!!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Appleblossom


@Bunniekins are you thinking of studying again?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I love the dream you had with your mother in law smiling sweetly. Thanks for the little chat this morning and have a great day, @Bunniekins

@Appleblossom, I know the feeling of too sensitive. My mother's mantra as I was growing up was toughen up. Easier said than done. And, as you suggested, there is a way we can build a hard wall of appearing tough on the outside, but I find it doesn't mean we are still not feeling the same way on the inside. I hope you can find some peace from this very soon, and that the trip with son today is helpful and kind on you and him both.

Good morning, @Faith-and-Hope, sensing you around. What are your plans for the day? I am going to womens group in about half an hour. Whatever you get up to, I hope there are enjoyable parts for you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita .....

Having a bookcase (hopefully) delivered today for my room ..... I am looking forward to piling bits and pieces into it that currently have no home.

After that I am catching up with someone who is visiting this fair city from my fair city ..... she hasn’t been well, has an ongoing health condition, so hopjng to being a little cheer to her life.

Mr.f&h has mad a dr’s apt ..... he has a miscellaneous pain in his side bothering him and after a week or so is going I ask about it. This is his first contact with a family doctor over here, so this may be interesting ..... but trying not to overthink it at the moment.

I have also been avoiding sorting out a linen cupboard that has been poorly organised and as such is not fitting everything in, some of which is sitting folded on the floor nearby. It has probably been staring at me long as bough that I need to do something about it ..... so that is part of today’s projects .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a fairly full day for you, @Faith-and-Hope. Will be good to organise some of those homeless items. Best wishes for you and Mr F&H with the new doctor.

I'm now about to go over and read @eth's post about the NDIS and then will be leaving for womens group.

Good stuff all round for everyone today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @Mazarita @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Teej @Former-Member @CheerBear @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope

I've just done a post on "Anyone Started with the NDIS?" thread for anyone who's interested. Pretty preoccupied with it this morning, as you will see.

Hoping the morning is going well for you all. Will catch up on posts later. Thanks to those who've tagged me.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon all 🙂

@Mazarita - that does sound like an odd day yesterday. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That's hard 😞 Bubble of rose coloured un-reality doesn't sound like a nice thing to be pondering. My night time world can be a huge contrast from the bubble I live in sometimes too. Hugs. Hope you're enjoying/have enjoyed group.

Hi @Appleblossom - nice to see you. I think I am one of the overboard with the outside wall to protect a very sensitive inside, kind of person. It's also kind of like a social filter for me - if someone wanted to judge outside appearances harshly, there's a pretty good chance we wouldn't get along anyway. I too hope you can find some peace soon.

Wishing you the best for your appointment @Bunniekins and you with your day @Faith-and-Hope. ❤ for you @outlander.

@eth I am really interested in your NDIS experience but I will have to be careful when I choose to read about it, as my experience has only just started (a fortnight ago) and so far it's playing out about as not-well as I expected. I feel as if there is so much potential for it to not be in the best interests for some, and the processes involved seem so harsh. I can imagine how preoccupied you'd be.

Hope this afternoon goes well for everyone 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear thankyou very much. Hoping things from my experience with NDIS can help you along the way, wishing for a much simpler pathway for you.

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