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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I cant really watch those @eth but sounds inspiring

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

She doesnt think i have alot on my plate and thinks i should do more @eth not sure wherre the heck ill find the time and energy to do that

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It does sound like there are some mixed messages in there @outlander. I feel for you. The more you can tell her about yourself, the better she'll be able to tailor her work with you. I started with someone doing psychotherapy early last year but the psychiatrist I then saw said that there are other therapies more strongly indicated for cPTSD. I went to that psychologist 3 times but decided they weren't for me. The psychiatrist then recommended someone else, a female, much more trauma informed and I've been seeing her since. She helps me decide what to talk about at the start of the session and gives me feedback throughout the session. We usually spend some time coming 'back to the now' at the end of the session. But it's necessarily heavy going at times as we are mapping traumas prior to starting EMDR (google it). What she doesn't know about she can't help you with. You could ask her to tell you more about how she thinks psychotherapy will help. Sounds like she may have been assessing you some of the session. You could make notes about things that come up between sessions and take the notes to the session to trigger your memory. You might be able to get another 5 sessions after the 10 by getting your GP to do a Chronic Health Care Plan (different from the Mental Health Care Plan you would already have). When my sessions were all used up I decided just to pay for more sessions because my psychologist is so good and I need the ongoing therapy. It's not cheap and I'm on a pension, but it's money well spent in my book. That's probably enough rave from me. Only hoping to help.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth and @outlander

just wanted to drop in and wish you the best for tomorrow @eth. I’ll be thinking of you and crossing my fingers for a good outcome. 💜🤗

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I tried constant talk therapy gathering thats cbt... but i wasnt getting anywhere except in circles
I wanted to do dbt and maybe exposure therapy but wasnt meant to be in my area. That psych is on matrrnity leave @eth
She actually didnt want to know alot about me more current living situation, family tree and what i was diagnosed with, the way she runs, payments etc. Each session is basically from my interpretation is what i want each session but really one topic per session for example one might be panic attacks and managing those.
The sa i dont speak of as no one knows except gp and nurse to do tests but other than that noone knows and thats the way id rather it be. Yep it was a first session so was expecting questions like that except the upfront one of sh and attempts.
I didnt know i could try for an extra 5... hmm will keep that one in mind and hopefully i can use it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member and @Teej how are you both today?

@outlander if you jot down things that come up between sessions, you can prioritise them and decide what's most important to talk about on the day. After all she did say the sessions would be 'run' by you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats a good thought @eth i could do that and pick a topic or 2 small topics to deal with each session..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander the first session is often a lot of what's called 'housekeeping' - her gathering your pertinent facts and situation.

CBT isn't just talk, it's cognitive behaviour therapy - learned exercises that really help managing many mental health issues. Worth googling if you want to know more. DBT dialectic behaviour therapy has grown out of CBT. I did a course in CBT several years ago, and 2 years of MHCP psychology ap'ts practicing it more recently and it does help a lot. I still use it when I remember to. For me it hasn't been a cure, but then more traumatic events have happened since I did it. It does help a lot with breaking down 'what if' thinking and looking at things more rationally.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I’ve had a strange day @eth but ok at the moment. It was the first time ever I just couldn’t get myself going to get to my therapy appointment but managed to have a phone session instead which was good. It’s been a big week and I think I’m just feeling exhausted.

I have group tomorrow which I hope to get to.

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