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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita @eth

started decluttering clothes hanging up..very brave.. Lots of very dressy stuff going as don't have need for or anywhere to wear..will probably get invitation Oce it's gone..

I used to do ballroom dancing..loved it..hence dressy..used to go to concerts and theatre..

these days cards at sport club..occasional meal at other sport club..it has now brought on pain in thoracic area stretching coat hangers with clothes..

laying down in bed with heat pack..have to get up soon sciatic nerve upset not getting all of the attention..

think I will just curl up have another good cry and feel very sorry for myself..

enough self ..get up now and walk around...

not looking forward to post op recovery in the least

hoping that your days are improving

mohill

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs, @Former-Member. Good on you for continuing with the decluttering, despite the pain you are in and the desire to just curl up and cry. That is okay to do that too if you need or want to. You have some good reasons for it at the moment. Maybe sometimes self-compassion includes feeling sorry for ourselves.

How interesting that you used to do ballroom dancing. I too used to love dancing, did ballet on and off for about seven years when I was a child, later was a party girl and danced like a mad thing at clubs and raves. Now my feet just aren't up to it. I know the sorry feeling that can come with losing that kind of part of ourselves. My days are so banal these days, compared to the colour and excitement I once had in my life. Still, I prefer this time to then, as I was much more emotionally and mentally tortured on the whole during the first four decades of my life. If the cost of a bit of peace is being kind of boring by comparison, so be it.

Do you have any approximate date for your surgery? More hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita

I have always loved dancing ..still do...dance around house with music turned up..

when I lived with one son..I used to do housework with music blaring and dancing

yes you are quite right boring better in some ways..at least I now know not me being different just boring days as result of isolation..

now this op going to add more..

he just said not February..booked out..reception will ring me

as much charm and charisma as a blank piece of paper..

I have been moaning about him to my psychiatrist..he laughed and said surgeons renowned for non communication or bedside manner...

I am feeling tempted to not go ahead but then what will that prove??...

we now have 3 very untidy bedrooms in initial stages of decluttering...

perhaps you could tell your mum and aunt that there is swearing and nudity in the video...hmm perhaps not they might organise a bus group..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hahaha, @Former-Member, I love the idea of the swearing and nudity. As a matter of fact there is material in at least one of the films that my aunt would almost certainly be rather affronted by.

But I don't think I will need to make any excuses. Mum already knows my initial reaction to them coming was not keen and she really was okay with that. She said my aunt would understand too, which I think she will. It will probably turn out okay, will give them a private screening at one of their places instead. That will probably sort it. But you know how, when anxious, everything can seem impossible? That's how it was with me this morning.

I am happy to know you dance around the house, like @eth, who was having a home party of one plus dog just like that the other night.

Well I've done my meditation and have one load of washing on the line with another one in process. Getting through my list of things for today, though I think I'm going to let some of the items drop.

Good luck with the next stage of your day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member and @Mazarita Have been thinking of you both through the day. Hoping you are both feeling a little better by now.

@Former-Member has your Dr worked out a pain management plan with you? I wish I could make specific suggestions to you but they'd probably be moderated. Best to listen to your body and try to be gentle with it as you progress with your decluttering. The only thing clothes-wise I've regretted not keeping is the dress I wore to my child's wedding. Maybe just keep a couple of the fancier garments in case of surprise invitations?

I never did ballroom or ballet but did dance at least a few times a week at clubs from age 16 and most of my 20s. Even when I was in my 40s I went through a pretty manic period going to clubs alone - there are stories in that but I won't go into them. Lets just say I engaged in some pretty risky behaviour!

My life is also boring compared to before, but these days I manage my mental health a lot more responsibly. Isolation and mobility issues are a factor for me too. Keeping grounded is my number one priority now, no longer a party girl. I guess part of that is just aging.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap again @Mazarita! I think the private screening for them is an excellent idea. Glad to hear you've settled somewhat with meditation.

Since we chatted I watered both gardens thoroughly, washed my dishes, cleaned my floor and even had a shower and washed my hair (all too rare). Feeling somewhat accomplished

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Feeling calmer here, @eth. Though I can feel that my moods are very switchable at present. I rang my psychiatrist and asked for him to ring me back tomorrow. I think I do actually need to drop the dose of my anti-depressant before Melbourne, in fact, now, so that I'm not going through the worst of medication changes while I'm down there. Hopefully I can get on to him tomorrow. Thanks for thinking of us.

How is your day going?

Edit: haha, snap again! I was posting this one while you were posting your last. Maybe we should say 'over and out' before we are finished, lol. Over to you now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita adjusting meds now seems like a good idea. That way you'll be adjusting before you go. Good luck getting on to your psychiatrist soon.

I just had a call about my psychiatrists' hours changing and have an appointment 2 weeks sooner as a result. I think it's time mine were tweaked as well. Too many days in a fog recently and it's quite possibly at least partly med related. I'm on the same regime she put me on when I was hypomanic. As important as getting some sleep is, I'd rather have a clearer mind the first half of the day and more motivation generally.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a good idea with the meds tweak for both of us, @eth. I'm pretty sure my psychiatrist will agree, but prefer to run it past him before doing anything. Especially since I'm a bit unstable today. I'm glad to hear your psychiatrist appointment is now sooner than it was going to be. Congrats on getting all those things done. I'm still sitting here sweaty but will be having a shower before the end of the day. The only other thing I have on my list of things to do today is to redye my hair in preparation for Melbourne. I've already made an appointment to have the ends trimmed on Friday. It's been a year or more since I've done that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Having your hair done is always good therapy @Mazarita. I only get mine done once a year too as I'm growing it back. So far half way down my shoulder blades. I had it down to my waist for years and then got too hot one build-up season up north and had the lot cut off into a short bob. I much prefer it long even if it is nearly always tied up.

And I remember that colouring it always leaves it soft and silky. I stopped a few years ago and am salt and pepper these days. Strangely less grey now than I had a few years ago.

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