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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap! @Former-Member we posted at the same time. Whenever I've done a declutter (did a huge one before I packed to move interstate) I've found it easiest to do one cupboard or one room at a time. And if you find yourself trying to do too many things at once it can help to write a list as you go of ideas to do, then go back to the first task. Prioritise the rooms - like the hallway makes sense to do first as it gives access to the other rooms and also is seen by visitors. Have boxes/baskets handy to chuck what you don't need to keep in. Be ruthless!! I went from a large 2 bedroom flat to a small 1 room cabin and managed to cull many years of stuff that I kept for 'justin' ... just in case. I now pretty much only have what I use from day to day apart from minimum clothes for the different seasons here. Plus 2 shelves of knick knacks and 1 for books - used to be 4 bookshelves and 5 side tables full. Once I had done the job it felt so good to have done it - wishing that feeling for you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Cold yogurt is good in bad sunburn and helps prevent blistering. S1 was badly burned one day and we only had strawberry yogurt in the fridge ...... he smelled lovely !!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lol @Faith-and-Hope not sure how I'd do that as I'd be walking it everywhere.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, ouch to the burn, hope it heals quickly and you feel somewhat recovered from the shock.

@Former-Member, I guess the glaring at you while on computer baffled me because C and I sit across the room from each other on the computer for big chunks of time most days (nerds that we are). But maybe you only have one computer and there is competition for it. Good on you for starting the decluttering.

@Faith-and-Hope, @outlander, @Shaz51, it makes me angry that society is so down on fat people. It's presented as though it's all about health, but really there is so much plain stigma and prejudice there. I have a friend who is morbidly obese, a wonderful person who has complex medical problems, as well as making the apparently unforgivable error of being a bit weak in her lifestyle habits too. I swear the stigma she experiences is way worse than anything I've ever seen, including for mental health.

How is the day unfolding for everyone, I wonder. I lay back in the armchair after I got back from the beach and feel asleep for a couple of hours. Not surprising though. Walked about 2km, dip in the ocean. And when I saw the pool was empty here on the way in, I got in there and did four sidestroke laps. That was another activity that I haven't done for ages.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hey @Mazarita been a big day here for me or more so the last 4 hrs anyway.

people are very judemental esp when it comes to weight unfortunately, just as bad as mental health however mh can be invisible and less noticeable so people dont judge you so quick until you meantion it.

glad you went for a walk and a swim too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita good on you for getting in the pool again as well as the ocean. Hope your morning is progressing peacefully.

Good morning @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Former-Member and anyone else passing through here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning, @eth. Just woke from my third sleep of the night since 9.30pm. Stepped out of an intense dream. Still scrambling to get my head together. But glad to see you first thing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice to see you too. I had a similar night @Mazarita but thanks to med I don't often take I got one 5 hour block and it makes so much difference to how I feel by morning. Sprinkler is on - planning to water the whole garden thoroughly this morning. Bro and sil get back tonight and I want it all to look bright and fresh when they see it. Same goes for the cabin planning to catch up on dishes and do the floor thoroughly.

Are you ok after your intense dream? Was it one with snippets of reality where you know you processed some stuff, or more random than that?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a good day planned, @eth. I smiled at the thought of a bright and fresh garden for bro and sil to come back to. Nice going with the cabin too. I'm finding on days when I have nothing much to do, doing housework can actually be almost enjoyable, something to occupy myself. Or at least that's how it has been during the cleanup for the flat inspection. This is pretty radical for me!

The dream I had was quite anxious actually and related to my life in film, and work. I'm having a few hiccups going on with things in that area at the moment in real life, some to do with my creative process, some to do with people in my creative life. I'm guessing the dream was expressing some of my anxiety about this. Despite what I said the other day about usually being able to take a distance from dreams, this morning I feel a bit knotted in the stomach about my dream.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @Mazarita I had noticed that you hadn't mentioned your video work recently. Sorry to hear about the hiccups. Want to talk about them? Would that help your stomach un-knot?

I don't exactly enjoy the housework while I'm doing it but I always feel a lot better after it's done.

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