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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes @eth

I am in a dense fog .....

crowded places are not very soothing ....

I am glad that you have found this thread and had a long time chatting with the lovely mazarita...

you too help her in so many ways..

incredible isn't it we can be there for others...help lift them...reduce their pain and suffering...

for ourselves....so much harder...

we have some rain today...a welcome relief and I love the rain...I love water..

just rambling...words are stuck...I wish you soothing moments too ...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@KobeCat was great @Former-Member

How was your day my awesome friend

Lots of love to you tooo @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i HAd to go to the hospital today with my aches and pains @Mazarita, @Former-Member, @Bunniekins, @eth, @Faith-and-Hope

I think I have another kidney infection but the doctor does not like me having pains in the groin , so am on AB`S and have to see the doctor again on friday

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51, was it a specialist appointment today at the hospital? Sending hugs for your aches and pains. Hopefully the ABs will help with what's happening. Sounds good that you have a doctor who will follow things up well.

@Former-Member, it was good to read on the other thread that you have been doing some decluttering. Seems like a positive thing to have productive tasks like that to distract at this time. Glad you had some rain too. Hope you get some peaceful sleep tonight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

Hope that your kidney infection clears up soon...

agree good doctors who follow up are hard to come by...

@Mazarita

Somehow leaving the rubbis bags on the kitchen bench does not quite qualify me for decluttering...a beginning..

hope that you too have a peaceful night sleep..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good (very early morning), Niqua.

I'm writing this letter to you after going to bed at 9.30pm and waking twice so far over the night. The quiet of now is so peaceful and I think of you sleeping, also hopefully peaceful, as I'm writing.

How cool that you say I am up there with the dogs in terms of companionship! I do feel very honoured by that, because I understand what you are saying. In a funny way, it reminds me of something from the past, when my dad was still alive (over 15 years ago). My mum had a little dog for many years. Though my parents didn't ever live together since I was aged 15, they continued to see each other very regularly over the years. My mum and dad both loved the little dog so much, lavished him with so much devoted attention, I took to calling him my little brother. I don't have a brother (or sister), so it was nice to have a sibling, even if canine! Now I feel like I have a bouncy young fella and another, perhaps wiser, little fella to add to my sense of family.

Your story of the young fella learning the hiding game is funny. And I love that the little fella gets to ride up front in the passenger seat with you when it's just the two of you. That must be such a treat for him. Young fellas can demand and get a lot of attention, so it makes me glad to think of the little guy up front, proud as punch.

No guilt over the weather, Niqua. I think you deserve a break after last year's searing heat (though mid to high 30s would do me in too, especially with humidity). No guilt over ebay either, I reckon. The new car seat covers sound great and timely. I do like hearing about you improving your material existence, little by little, over time.

Sore joints and heartburn don't sound like much fun when trying to sleep. As I'm getting older, I find it harder to relax as well in bed as I used to. For the same sorts of reasons. Body just hurts in different parts, hard to find a comfortable position. Find myself groaning about the discomfort for a while after I hit the hay. It also might have something to do with my 15 year old mattress with sagging inner springs. But it's too big an outlay for now to get a new bed for this princess, so the groans may continue for a while yet.

I am sunburned from my adventure yesterday. Second time in a few weeks I've done that, on my face and shoulders especially. Again, it was just too hot yesterday to wear a protective shirt so out I went on my two big adventures in a spaghetti string dress. It is fairly long so covers most of the body, but not around the shoulders. I wore a hat but the reflected light from all the hard, bright surfaces just bounced the sun back on my face anyway. Today, I think I'll be having a quiet, recovery day.

Well that's probably enough for this early hour of this new day, which hasn't even yet dawned. I too love our pen pal companionship, dear friend. And love it that we write long to each other, just like a pen and paper letter too.

Streaming love back atcha! @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita, Claire @outlander, @Shaz51 , @Faith-and-Hope , @CheerBear , @eth , @Bunniekins , @Former-Member, and Everybody 🙂

Thank you for the lovely letter Mazy ❤️ That's quite a torturous sleep pattern of yours! Lucky you like the peace of the night, & that I guess for you it is the pattern?

I thought you'd get what I was saying with the dogs and you - a lot of people would take offence by it, when I'm really doing the exact opposite to offending 🙂 I'm glad your Mum had the little dog, being alone can be very . . . lonely. The fact that your Parents remained amicable even after separating, both lavishing the little fella - I think may have been a way of continuing to love each other a little 😉 Your welcome to share in my little furry family {hell, you can share in the 5 grandbabies & stressed-out child too!!:D}

We did a little better at 'hide & seek' Sunday, I 'hid' the ball almost in plain sight this time {ever-so-slightly around the corner of the house, but not behind anything}; and this time there was some grated cheese that needed using & I mixed that with the biscuits - he still, went straight for it until the last cm & then turned and started sniffing in the opposite direction :D! I think he is starting to listen when I 'Uh-Uh' meaning "no your cold" & move more in the direction where I 'Yes!' meaning "your getting warmer and clicking to 'YAY' meaning he's right on top of it & he needs to put that nasal vacuum cleaner at the front of his face on high! 😄

I don't really feel guilty about this Summer being so much milder that last - I just feel relieved! It really did send me quite bonkers last year, effecting me in many ways; I think the extreme heat of last year had something to do with the regular bouts of confusion, disorientation, loss of spelling skills etc. I expected all those things to crash after my xmas trip and I've had a touch of each, but only a touch, that I've managed without too much difficulty? Though menopause may have had something to do with last year & the bouts, I can hope I've finished this year?

I can't remember the last time I laid down without 'feeling' some part of my body; and yet I do remember that when I was younger I never noticed any parts of my body unless I'd actually injured it! Particularly working in cleaning and then personal care, a lot of back problems in those industries; I was always so proud of the fact I didn't have any! . . . & I'd still say I don't! . . . just neck and shoulder problems . . . and hips & knees & elbows & ankles & feet!!! I build my own personal nest of pillows every night 🙂 I've got 2 of those long body-pillows for the sides and 2 super-comfy memory foam orthopedic pillows for my head and under my knees {or feet depending on what aches where ;)} I'd really recommend a good mattress topper, especially if you can't afford to replace your 15 yo mattress at the moment. My child was having problems with their back, although they have a fairly new mattress they said it was too hard; I got them a {I've forgotten what it's called, looked like it was filled with white stuffing} mattress topper {I have a memory foam one, they're much more expensive . . . but like sleeping on a cloud!} from Woolies I think; I know $75 is still a lot of money, but my child said it made a huge difference & I know mine changed my ability to get to sleep! 😉

TUT TUT TUT Mazy!!! Sunburned AGAIN! You've got to get yourself some cheesecloth girl! Either a long sleeve, long length beach cover/coat or a large sarong/shawl you can just drape over your shoulders and protect your {I'm guessing fair skin, going by the blond hair?} self from the harsh Sun. That way, when you get there and have your dip, as you walk down the beach the breeze will be cooled a little more through the damp fabric 😉 A couple of layers of silk does a good job too & sometimes I find gems like cheesecloth and silk in the 2nd hand shops! 🙂 Nice image of you in a spaghetti string dress & sunhat though 🙂 😄 {maybe go for a darker brimmed hat?} nag, nag, nag, NAG, NAG ;D

I've got to get off of here, get dressed & get into town today, I should be getting the actual maintenance work done on my car . . . so I'll probably have to visit the 2nd hand shop again [DAM!] 😄

Love and laughter for you Mazy . . . and anyone who wants or needs it 🙂

Niqua.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Former-Member and everyone 👋

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello my beautiful cyber-grandgirl Claire @outlander 🙂

I've really got to go, the car maintenance should actually happen today 😉

I just wanted to pop a little love into the Forum just for you first

Giving you your daily dose of Nanny Niqua love

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Aww @Former-Member ❤ have a good day im sure we will chat later. Thank you and sending lots of love back to you ❤❤
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