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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear, awake here at first light. Always think of you when I'm awake this early, wondering if you are sleeping through a bit longer (hopefully), or if you feel like a morning chat over coffee. Either way, I hope this morning brings peaceful feelings to you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita 😊 I got lovely forum feels jumping on this morning, thank you ❤. Just getting up now after a very hot and uncomfortable night. Coffee not even happened yet (about to though). How are you this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, I'm okay this morning, though not quite enough sleep yet and may get a tad more before starting the day in earnest. A bit of breeze, with a touch of cool, flowing through the open glass door to one of the courtyards. First of many jets for the day has flown over. Birds are cheeping in a sleepy way.

Anything happening today for you?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I read bit of a breeze as I opened the door to big gust of cooler air here @Mazarita ☺ Lovely to imagine a breeze through the courtyard.

I meet the psychiatrist today and will probably have an owner person to deal with too. I sent the maintainence email yesterday with photos and I'm guessing that I'll hear early-ish about it today. Psychiatrist is a bit of big one for me also. That's it for today (and probably enough for one day!)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Is it the first appointment with psychiatrist, @CheerBear? Haven't seen you mention them much. Wonder how it's going if you've already seen them. Or hope it goes well if it's the first.

May the landlord be in a different and better frame of mind in relation to you this time. Remember that real estate agents can sometimes help if the owner is overstepping the mark. You have the right to be treated with respect.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's the first appointment with him @Mazarita. My GP and psych have both spoken with him (he works with my psych and my GP called him) so he's been given a heads up that I could do a run and disappear if I'm pushed too hard, so hopefully that helps today. It'll be ok and maybe it could even be helpful 😉

I'm really hoping the same thing with the owner too. I do jump to worst-case scenario and I'm trying to remember that I can't predict the future even though I want to. The RE agent and owner have a close relationship as the owner has a fairly decent collection of houses (with that comes some power I guess) but property manager has been really helpful before, so fingers crossed. I remembered that I have a bit of a plan with my MH worker for if housing turns scary again so I'll try really hard to trust that also.

Any news on your friend and the housing there? I may have missed it over the last few days.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, will be interested to hear how your session with psychiatrist goes. Glad they have the heads up about being gentle with you, especially since you said they can be a bit tough, from what you've heard.

I get the difficulty with RE agent and owner. But I do remember being surprised by a RE agent when I had an owner once who kept turning up unannounced at the door and then criticising everything in the (extremely run down) house she owned. The RE agent gave her a talking to, knowing that they could be taken to the tribunal over what was happening. I didn't even need to threaten that. The visits stopped after that.

Oh, CB, my friend is still at her sisters and the housing situation here seems to be just getting worse and worse as the Commonwealth Games approach (April). She's even talking now of sitting it out at her sisters until after the games are over, in the hopes that rentals will become easier then. I'm not sure that will happen immediately the games are over though, but haven't told her I think that.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Huge big grrr to housing stuff @Mazarita. It sounds like you've had your fair share of tricky times renting also. Wish we could interview owners when applying for houses - it can really make the difference between feeling ok while renting and not! :S

Big sigh for your friend 😞 It's amazing that the Games have impacted housing so much and I can see how things may not change so quickly after they're over too. That's so tough. I hope her sister is coping also.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, the Games are pushing up the rents in an every upward spiral and they are becoming more and more competitive to get, @CheerBear. It is a peculiar situation though. Not all rental housing is like this elsewhere, though I know it's still hard in different places. In any case, my friend's sister is committed to having her there until she finds the right place. So my friend is luckier than some.

Hey, it's just started raining, sudden downpour! Nice.

I have a fairly big day today too. I'm going to a womens group for the first time this morning. We will all be going op shopping together. Then in the afternoon I'm travelling about an hour north to a craft shop. Remember that jumper I knitted for C that never got finished? I got stuck (for a year) trying to sew the sleeves into the main garment. Well, I've found a place that will do the sewing up of knitting (which I'm so bad at). So he'll be getting his birthday jumper a year late!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Woohoo for rain @Mazarita! It's funny weather here and I feel rain coming too.

That's awesome to hear you're going to a new group! Is it a particular kind of women's group (not sure you'd want to or be able to share that). Opp shopping and craft shop - this is like my dream day haha! I do remember that jumper too. How exciting to have it finished. I am no good at sewing ends in and really want to learn how to do that better. I had no idea there were places that could do it for you. New knitting project after?! 😄

How fun today! And big - go you!
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