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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So sorry you are struggling with these feelings now, @Former-Member. The forum can indeed be overwhelming at times, especially when we are new to it. I find it's best not to read too much of everything. I also have the attitude that we are here first of all for our own needs and that any help we may be able to offer others is secondary to that. There are also many ways to support others. Simple companionship is one of them, an important one, as many of us struggle with isolation in the real world.

I understand if you feel the need to go. I once took a break of about nine months from the forum when things got too much for me. But I hope you decide to stay, even if taking a step back from the intensity of being here as often. Kindest wishes.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I have written an email and have decided to leave the forum. Take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear it, @Former-Member, but I understand. Wishing you all the best.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Hi Trainwreck sorry to hear that you have decided to go but I/we can understand as I am sure alot of us have been in that situation where the forums become overwhelming. I have left on at least 2 occassions beause I couldn't handle it but when I checked in and saw what I was missing as in genuine online friendships I came back and was happy that I did.

Maybe as @Mazarita suggested just go offline for a while and see and if you dont want it cancel it then. I would miss you if you left you helped me out alot that night helping me vent my rage at being bullied etc. I wont forget that. xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Bunniekins, how are you today? I've had a few sleeps overnight and feel okay. May get a little more sleep before waking up for the day proper, or may stay awake now. We'll see what happens. It's only 5.15am here in Queensland. Hoping for a day that's productive with domestic chores and, maybe, another swim and walk.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazarita I am great thank you slept pretty well dreamt like crazy though about me with a bird on my shoulder. I must remember to look it up later and see what it is supposed to mean. Swim and a walk sounds wonderful. I can imagine you diving into the ocean with nothing but the sound of the waves crashing around you.

I kind of live near the beach but it is generally crowded at this time of year so would avoid it. During November it is better but school holidays is a nightmare.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I am not returning & the comment that has triggered me in the first place hasn't helped one bit. I will deal with my own journey without voices everywhere
Goodluck

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Thanks Trainwreck wishing you luck too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, I dreamed fairly intensely last night too. Couldn't remember any of them after waking up. I know it can be terribly hard for some members of the forum who are troubled with traumatic dreams. For me though, I find dreams like free movies, enjoy them, their weirdness and surprising events. I've been interested in dreams for a long time.

The beach here is not completely quiet but is rarely crowded. It's quite a friendly beach with people of all different ages, sizes and shapes. Dogs too. They seem to enjoy the beach more than anyone. I appreciate the diverse community mix of this beach, being of a certain age and shape myself. I sometimes even smile or say hello to people in passing as I walk, though more often I am in my own world with the ocean.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone ......

I am sorry to see what has happened here @Former-Member, and sorry for how you are feeling. I will miss you from the short time I have started to get to know you, but I also understand what you are saying.

Some of the members here stick to only one or two threads, and close down notifications from all others, meaning they will only be notified if they are tagged directly, and can even close down that facility (I believe) because it can certainly be overwhelming to read and feel for what others are struggling with.

The reason so many of us are here though, is because we feel connection and support through it all, taking the forums our own way, on our own terms, and I believe you have felt something of that too, but not enough to stabilise how you are feeling right now.

I wish you well, and if you return at any time you will find a place here for you again .....

💜💐💕💜💐💕💜

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