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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I can't remember the name of it. It was grey. My daughter balled her eyes out when we had to leave.. Lol
You sound happy 😊

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita@Former-Member@Appleblossom@Shaz51@Former-Member @catgirl@eth wishing all a decent nights sleep. I am off to clean up.Take care. gp xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Goodnight i am off to bed too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good night @Former-Member @Bunniekins @Mazarita

Thank you for your kind thoughts @Bunniekins

@Former-MemberI like hearing about father stories with their kids ... they can be simple ... but healing for me and therefore probably others.

Homelessness is always a tragedy. Glad you are getting it sorted though.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossum Her father isn't in her life and by his actions does not want to be
I bent over backwards for that man
I had my business. I think i respected his own needs many times over before mine were ever met...
I basically fell pregnant and went through pregnancy alone. I left domestic violence when my ex partner gave my child alcohol & after numerous assault charges. My ex partner has warrants out for his arrests on several drink driving and assault charges with others including me so when the topic arises about fathers with their daughters it just makes me angry and upset especially when others don't know the full details let alone me or my story of survival!!!

Yes it is. I was in karratha. I may be somewhat heartless now because i have seen alot and been through alot but no way am i any where naive as what i was once.

When you have had your self worth, dignity and self respect gone out of the window and dealt with horrid memories and the damage and seen how everyone else has copped "my" own damage then people can judge me...

I hate myself for it everyday so no matter what anyone else says it can't be any worse than what i tell myself daily since the ordeal.

Yes i am glad we have found a place too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member,been through a different struggle where I saw my life go in front of me etc,as well as struggling with anxiety and depression , unemployment etcwhere I isolated myself from the world due to keeping safe from judgements,gossips, comments.I too have lost my self worth,dignity,self respect etc ,and live with the trauma and impact of my life.Understand.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-MemberI am so sorry I was befuddled in an airy fairy memory land about my dad (we both had to deal with homelessness when we were minors).

You have certainly had a torrid time. For some reason I thought you were male. I hope I did not upset you too much remembering all that trauma.

I just wanted to give you a big heart hug for rescuing the bird with your daughter.

Yes. The details matter. Sexual and physical abuse matters.

Hope you can settle enough to sleep. Trying to calm down too,

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member - so glad you got yourself out of that situation. Hope you realise how important you are. It’s truly awful when you start believing what another person makes you feel like.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member I feel like i am going to explode!
Yep all that too!. I am sorry you have had trauma.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, at least you have your daughter,I regret not having a child in my life, I nearly got involved with a male who showed the signs of violence last year plus was sexually assaulted at 16.I get angry how vulnerable I was to them. Just try and calm down,he isn't worth it.

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