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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like things are moving forward, @eth. Sometimes it seems we just need patience while things are coming to fruition.

I too have some things planned for future weekly activities that haven't started yet. One is a women's group. I'm just going to go once and see how I like it. I found the last one I went to unhelpful and even annoying. There was one woman in the group who dominated everything. Couldn't stand it after the first session and never went back. I also met a woman there who latched on to me too hard and kept ringing for about six months after I made the mistake of giving her a phone contact. Hoping I can fit into this one better.

You will be ahead of me with Windows 10. I still use Windows 7.

Maybe when you go shopping with your support worker tomorrow, you might try a little walk in the shopping centre without her (nag, nag, lol). Of course, always feel free to ignore my suggestions if they are not helpful.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I had similar issues with one woman at the living beyond abuse course. But I kept going because I needed the course. She seemed to get more and more fixated on me. We were the only 2 older women there so I was open to the connection at first but as time went on she got to the point of interrupting my turn at sharing and contradicting me loudly, then trying to get into a debate during out morning tea break. I actually turned my back to her and walked out then avoided all eye contact with her from then on. Hopefully you'll have better luck at the new group.

I plan to tell the support worker that I'm ok once I'm in Coles to go round by myself.

I never mind your suggestions.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's a good step forward to start with, @eth. You are used to doing that with bro and sil but not others, so an advancement on things there. I think that is exactly the kind of small step that moves us outwards, bit by bit.

I remember you talking about that woman in your group now. I will be a little more reserved this time, I think.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nothing wrong with having personal boundaries at first @Mazarita until you suss out the group dynamic and the personalities involved.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Very true, @eth. I have a tendency to sometimes be overfriendly with people when I first meet them, which can give the idea that I want to be their instant best friend. This is not the case, it's just that I'm meaning to be friendly (unless freaked out and withdrawn altogether, lol). A better balance is in order if I can manage it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, @Teej, I'm going offline now. Phone call coming through here in about 15 minutes. Need a bit of a chill time before it. Thanks for being here this morning. It really helps wake me up in the head to chat with you when I'm so groggy at the start of my days. Maybe catch you both later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope it goes really well @Mazarita. I'm going off-line now too. Thanks for the chat and motivation encouragement.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita

I am still in disbelief mode..

most likekly thing you said starting with s or other starting with n.

most likely benign.

concern is size and probably growing rapidly he said.will have to be cut out..

mri of brain and spine sat 3/2....45 minutes..I am claustrophobic..can only take Prn under supervision there..

takes between 1-2 hrs to kick in even though hardly ever use...

if he has to cut into spine will have to put back with metal rod and screws ..

am back in bed..did some washing..moved sprinkler several times...more washing.

prewarned husband am poke cat on a hot tin roof...

he told me this morning he wished he could have it instead of me...I replied that I understood the depth..but not to say things like that..not easier either or..

wonderful niews re video....would love to See some of yout creativity..

might respond to you from circle of trust..this is so gloomy don't wan to affect others

thanks for everything mazarita xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, we can move the discussion if you wish. I have sent a brief message on the other thread. No need to move though unless you want to. This thread is to discuss anything that's on our mind. I'll respond here to your post and then you can decide where to reply.

I would be in shock too, as would anyone, I think. I have read a little about both the S and the N conditions. It's encouraging that your specialist has said most likely benign. However, from what I've read, I understand that the size makes surgery necessary.

I'm not sure why they won't allow you to take prn except once you're there for the MRI. I've had MRIs before and got through them okay by meditating while I was in there. Breath focus and consciously relaxing body as much as possible (repeatedly if necessary) will help if you are able to do it. There is nothing else for you to do except lay still. I think I even managed to half fall asleep part way through mine. The noise is loud but they give you tight fitting industrial earmuffs to wear, which reduces the noise to a level that is tolerable, though not pleasant. Have you had an MRI before? It will be 45 minutes, which seems long to you, but all the same, will only be 45 minutes out of the many hours in a single day. I do understand how fearful you may be though.

What you have written is not gloomy. Rather, an articulate account of what is happening for you at this time. Feel free to post it anywhere you wish. This is what the forum and your friends and fellow members here are for. I'm glad to be able to support you in whatever way I can.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Care and support coming from me too @Former-Member.

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