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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, had another sleep after I posted at 10am. Still struggling enormously to wake up today. So tired.

How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm really tired today too @Mazarita @outlander Saturday night I was awake a couple of times every hour and despite 10 hrs of broken sleep last night still don't feel recovered. Will attempt a nap in the not too distant future.

@Mazarita I hope the treatment recommended for you is giving you some relief by now.

Highlight of the weekend - walking around Port Macquarie light house and seeing a pod of dolphins frolicking or hunting - at least a dozen of them. So many stunning beaches there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I've washing face with cold water and lavendar oil, given myself a 'top and tail' clean, dressed, opened blinds and turned on some music since my last post. Trying to push myself through tiredness. I do feel marginally better at this point. Also helps to be chatting to you.

Your trip sounds awesome. Dolphins, a blessing.

Do you have anything planned today aside from more napping?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not pushing to get anything done today @Mazarita. I do have some filing to do and a pile of washing to put away but it can wait a while. I did pay an essential bill this morning tho'. You're doing a great job of pushing through - I'll have a go at that later but after rest time.

What music are you listening to?

Keep making lots of typos = even my fingers are tired!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, listening to jazz radio on the TV. It's one of my morning items on my 'activity list', to put on music. Helps wake me up and get me moving a bit more. Despite feeling better on the higher dose of ADs, I'm still having these morning struggles to wake.

The suppositories the gastro suggested are actually helping. I've also been reading about Crohns Disease and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The gastro didn't make it at all clear to me, but some doctors believe you can have both at the same time. This must be what he meant, I guess. Communication skills really lacking there. Had me thinking he was saying I had IBS instead of Crohns, which is just obviously wrong from my own life experience and the reports of many doctors in earlier years. However, the idea of someone having Crohns and IBS at the same time is also a controversial diagnosis, many doctors believe any problems in the gut when you've had Crohns would be low level Crohns problems, even if there is no obvious sign on colonoscopy. I'm writing in some detail about this now because I know of your past experience with these subjects.

Bottom line is, I think I overreacted to the gastro last week. But I also think it was his attitude and lack of communication that gave rise to it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like poor communication to me @Mazarita. Glad to hear that the remedy is helping a bit. I need to go rest up now in front of the fan and water some plants - its really hot here today. Enjoy your music and your day, may catch you later. Feel free to discuss it with me any time. I'm wondering if you've ever tried psyllium husks? Might also help sooth your innards.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Psyllium husks are on my shopping list next time I can get to a chemist or health food shop, @eth. Thanks for your support with this. My reaction to the gastro was probably also because I have so many traumatic past experiences with gastros and treatments for this disease too, tend to be suspicious of them and reactive too easily probably. That said, he could give me more than 5 minutes in his office to explain things.

Enjoy the rest and the fan. Hope to catch you in real time later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita there's a product that starts with M available at the supermarket that's made of them. Cheaper than the other options and more pleasant than other ways of taking them. Glad to hear you've already heard of them. I use M daily because of the side effects of one of my other meds which I'm sure you remember me having not so long ago.

Off to get horizontal for a while now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think I know which product you are talking about, @eth, took it a long time ago. But worsened symptoms then because of too much active crohns in the gut. Now that the colonoscopy is not showing inflammation, it is worth a try again and the gastro mentioned it too.

Good to chat, as always.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi Niqua,

Finally have enough untired headspace today to respond properly to your two recent 'long raves'.

I'm so happy the huge crash hasn't happened this time around. And that the nightly phone calls are happening again so soon, even if a bit awkward still. Your child must really love you to be picking up the phone again so quickly, Niqua, which doesn't surprise me. You are very lovable.

The suppositories that were suggested to me are helping, though, as you guessed, they don't instantly fix the problem, just give some relief of symptoms at this stage. Grateful for all the help I can get with it, even if I was bad tempered with that gastro last week. I actually ended the session (all five minutes of it) saying, 'Well, I hope I don't have to come back!', and then just left without another word.

The amount I have needed to get out about it is really related to carrying medical traumas from past experiences with surgery, hideous medications and apparently compassionless doctors. Even getting a hint of that these days makes me a bit overreactive I think.

I do hope the positive aspects of this shake up in my friend's life have a lasting benefit on her. She seems to be paradoxically less depressed at this unstable time than when she was fairly stuck in a rut in her flat for some years. Having to push herself so much more physically means she has become a little fitter. I was amazed that she came to our place and made it up the stairs not once but twice, when she hadn't visited our place for four years before that due to feeling she wouldn't be able to make those same stairs. It's a delight to have her visiting us now too.

With the slip, slop, slap: I am allergic to sunscreen. I usually wear a shirt but it's been so fiercely hot and humid lately, and I sweat so much anyway, that I took the chance on bare skin that sunburn day. Otherwise the heat is keeping me in the house. It's a bit of a catch 22. I always wear a hat out there though.

Yes indeed, there is a daunting aspect to the three weeks at my mum's. Her manic energy and my desire for calm do not match that well. Funny how mothers and daughters can be mismatched sometimes in personality. In other ways, we are very alike, deeper ways I guess. Though both our own person. I am looking forward to seeing her but will be taking sedative medication to help if I start losing balance because she won't let me think for a moment. It is no joke that she literally talks constantly.

I get a vivid image of you changing the tyre on that road to the weir, at your own pace, without help, self-sufficient and inventive with tools, as is your way. Go Niqua!

Yes, I got to the beach yesterday. And I saw seagulls and thought of you. First of all there were none near shore but a group of them out in the distance, on the water. I imagined you were shy about approaching me in your seagull form, lol. Next thing a few of them flapped past just overhead. 'Hi Niqua', I thought, sending love on their flapping wings back your way.

I hope you do register the hounds, that seems like a very good idea given last year's upset.

Ooh, I wonder what you got on ebay! I love shopping that way. In fact, buying clothes on ebay enabled me to start getting out of the flat again years ago when I had grown too big for all my clothes and was wearing rags I was too embarrassed to be seen in. That was when I was staying in the flat all the time. It's bloody great not to be in that withdrawn space so much now.

Supporting your child from 'your side of the bubble' sounds like a fabulous idea, my dear, and I dig your babble of bubbles!

It's turning into a good day here after being soooooo sleepy for hours this morning. Pushed myself to do some things and now I have more energy. Yay!

Love to you, Niqua.

@Former-Member

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