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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita and all 😊

Eyes going bing definitely makes sleep hard to find again!

Anything planned/hoped for today?

Morning best wishes to all too 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, flat inspection with friend at lunchtime is the main event. Haven't seen her this week, after seeing her almost every day for many months prior. It's been okay having less face time but it will be good to see her. 🙂

How about you? Anything on the agenda for today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How far away in time distance is she now (if you can/want to share) @Mazarita? Is she going ok? Crossing fingers still (and a big grrrrr to housing 😑) Hope you enjoy seeing her again.

Today I am going to try to get the kids onto their bikes. It's cold and wet (after being very warm!) but maybe that can work for us today. We also started a big puzzle so that might happen too. We've got some outings in mind but I want to scatter them because we still have a couple of weeks of holidays to go. Quiet day which is ok for us 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, she's about 40 minutes drive from us at her sister's. She is okay but crying at the drop of a hat, she says. Yes to crossed fingers for her.

Sounds like you have some nice activities planned for you the fish and you to do today. I'm not sure about getting out on bikes in the cold and wet though. But admire your weather-resistance principle there.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Will C drive you there @Mazarita or is it a bus-it job? That's a change for you both 🙁 I am glad she's ok. Housing seems to make tears happen easily. Big ugh for it all.

Our choice with the weather seems to be melt and sweat in humidity or be cold and wet in winter weather, so I think it's a lesser evil for outdoor stuff. Not sure how they feel about it yet - they're still asleep (yay!).

I saw Easter Eggs and hot cross buns yesterday at the supermarket. Far out! (No idea why I felt the need to share that here but I did haha)!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My friend is driving here for the flat inspection as the unit we are looking at is in this suburb (where she really wants to be).

It's crazy that the easter stuff goes on sale even before australia day. It's like they want parents (and everyone really) to be in this perpetual state of having to buy extra stuff on top of what we need.

Hope the biking goes down well with the LF and there is fun had in the wet.

@CheerBear

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Good morning Mazarita I took a sleeping pill last night and managed to sleep though ... I hope you can take a nana nap later today. I meant to ask are you going back to the gym to talk about membership and have a try out? Is it a 24 hour gym? If it is you could go at any time considering your sleep pattern it might work out well.

I hope you and @eth@CheerBear@Former-Member@Shaz51 all have a lovely day today full of happy moments. xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, I probably will get a nana nap later. I have postponed the gym for now because a number of people I talked to about it instead said, 'swimming'. And, since there's a pool in this building I hardly ever use, I thought that might be the best thing to start with. So instead of paying hundreds to join the gym at this stage (and possibly hardly or never use it), I spent $50 online yesterday buying some bathers (old ones don't fit me). Maybe when I get back from Melbourne at the end of March I might think of the gym again (so I don't have to pay a month for nothing while I'm away).

What's in store for you today, any plans?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There's back to school stuff, Australia day stuff, Easter eggs and Christmas stuff on clearance all
at the same time everywhere @Mazarita. It's hard having to fight the constant message of "buy buy buy" :face_with_rolling_eyes:

It will be great to have your friend in the same suburb again (hopefully soon)!

Morning @Bunniekins ☺ Good night sleep helps! Meant to say last night that it's great that you feel better for eating healthier also. Go you!

I'm going to head into the shower and maybe sneak in a bit of crafting while they're still asleep.

Hope you both (all) have a good day 👋😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, consumer culture can be brutal. One thing I now am kind of glad of from my childhood is that I wasn't spoiled in that material way. It has given me more of a distance from it all, so that I don't feel so caught up in it and therefore not as enslaved to it as 'it' (consumerism) kind of wants everyone to be (if you know what I mean). I know though that it is much harder these days to resist it, and especially with little ones who want things they see on TV. You seem like such a good mum though, somehow balancing these things well as far as I can see.

Anyway, you are probably in the shower now and off to a good start on your day. Thanks for the chat this morning, it's a happy start for me to see your avatar pop up in the mornings.

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