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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Can you believe I still feel like I should explain m being lesbian? I just have always been attracted to women. I also don't want to be defined by that...but I feel people on here should know I'm gay.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Also I have many brothers (no father) but I’m a straight gal. An all for gays

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am gay 😕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Funny animals.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Leggs

Please feel no obligation to be here at the forum or responding to anyone. I think it's a sign of good balance that you take some days away in between visits.

My experience with loneliness is that we can become disheartened about it and this reduces confidence, and then there's withdrawal. I understand what you may be feeling to some extent from my past experiences.

Anyway, here's a hi across the wires. Hope today is one of the better ones for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Leggs Please accept my acceptance of your sharing about being gay. I'm pansexual myself and I don't think our preferences should influence whether we receive support on the forums. This is a place where everyone is different and it's totally not appropriate for anyone to judge another here. Regarding being lonely, I like to think of it as I'm alone but not lonely. Sometimes there needs to be a space in your life so that someone new can come into it, but the timing is not really something we can control. Personally I swing between hoping to share my life again one day and knowing the freedoms that come with being single. e.g. not having to negotiate every little thing with another person, being able to have down time whenever it suits me, that sort of thing.

Take care, Eth.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well the 2nd buddy shift on Thursday with a potential new support worker (3rd member of my team of support workers) was an unmitigated disaster. To cut a long story short the woman had bizarre behaviours due to what she said was dyspraxia as part of autism. She froze half way across the entrance to the carpark at the supermarket (underground) and told me to go in without her (after freezing many times just walking from my flat to her car and telling me to walk ahead of her - which makes my anxiety skyrocket). Just thank goodness I had my long-time support worker there too and was able to complete my shopping and get home in a taxi with her help and accompaniment. It was clear that the potential new sw has a major disorder that makes it inappropriate for her to do support work, for any kind of disability in the supported person. I do believe that everyone with any sort of disability has the right to employment and to contribute to society, but in this case have to think of my own needs. I cannot have a support worker who I am going to be worrying about and having anxiety/panic spikes when I'm with.

So I've had to do a 2nd incident report with Hireup in the one week, after 3 years of being very happy with using that online platform. And had to listen to the person at Hireup who dealt with my reports say "Hireup is an unsupervised platform" a few times. Clearly their way of declaring they don't have a duty of care with such issues, their disclaimer.

Lesson learned : I have to ask for proof of education and experience myself at interviews. But even with that, it would still be possible for someone to appear fine at the interview and then turn out to be unsuitable during a support outing.

So the other lesson learned is that I will ALWAYS have to do buddy shifts (where I have a trusted support worker with me as well as the new person) to induct and properly suss out potential new team members.

REALLY DISAPPOINTING to have to now think about moving to another hiring platform such as Mabel. I still want another person on my team but will now wait til after my writing gig (6 weeks from sometime in April - still no exact start date) to go thru' the process again.

Hi to all who've tagged me over the last several days, and many others I'm missing contact with and some I've only recently met. Life just gets too full-on sometimes for me to find time for the forums and day after day passes with me getting more and more out of touch with what's happening for all my friends here. Just know that I think of you all and send my best and warmest wishes.

@Mazarita I hope you're starting to find your way with putting things in place to best use your NDIS plan to your best benefit. Missing you a lot and enjoying seeing your notifications in my inbox.

@Adge @Leggs @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Owlunar @HenryX @MDT @frog @Daisydreamer @Exoplanet @Former-Member @Judi9877 @Angels333 @Zoe7 @TAB @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Emelia8 @Meowmy @TideisTurning @Former-Member @petrichor @Maggie @CheerBear

Take care and stay kind everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That poor person @eth but own needs need to be met.
Apparently NDIS getting rorted badly already with companies who are providers now giving contracts to companies they own @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes it's true @TAB Sorry have an ap't in 5 min or would say more.

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