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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth sitting at the computer a lot. Realised it is the thing that has been giving me very puffy ankles at times. At the moment I've got my legs on a footstool under the desk, hehe. Been editing some of poetry this morning. How is your day going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like the footstool is a good idea @Mazarita I had a big weekend of down the NDIS rabbit hole - at least 7 or 8 hours over the 2 days. And the fallout has hit today in a fairly major way. There's a new policy document I found on their website and I wanted to read and understand it before my ap't with my coordinator of supports (CoS) tomorrow morning. It's the "Planning Policy for Personalised Budgets and Plan Flexibility" and there's heaps of useful stuff in it but lots of changes (they won't be changes for you coz this is probably where they'll start with you - dunno). But it's a 28 page document peppered with links to other documents....

https://www.ndis.gov.au/community/have-your-say/planning-policy-personalised-budgets-and-plan-flexibility

I have become "compulsively accretive" as my sil once described me - again! OCD part of cPTSD manifesting.

Spent 2 hrs talking about it with my support worker today (sw) and even had a cry. Then bombed out for a while when I got home. But remembered I'd said I'd be here now as I took myself back to bed. this is better!

Best post this or I'll miss you again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry for a bit of a delay, @eth. I was doing something with poetry on another tab while waiting before. Will answer more now, in next post.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Obsessiveness was what took me overseas in 2019, @eth. I almost literally spent every moment of every day working on it for the whole year. In the second half of the year my physical health was declining badly, as it has done before under stress like that. Sleeping more and more, only came to life for that 28 days overseas, then collapse from burnout. At those times there's really no stopping me. It's like one person trying to stop a runaway train.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I knew you'd get it @Mazarita Thanks.

I've now been told that the writing gig will start in April and am hoping to do it 2 days a week for 4 weeks. I have a friend who will do it with me. I'd really like to get into some sort of writing flow before then and can only wish that this NDIS stuff doesn't stop that from happening. I don't want to waste such an opportunity.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I have been very nervous and worried about the pre-planning meeting with them. I had some sort of breakthrough with it yesterday. I could feel my body relaxed as soon as I had the thought/feeling. What it is is that I want to speak honestly from my heart at the NDIS meeting, taking into consideration the practical things I've been advised by others. I think the more connection the NDIS interviewer and I find during the meeting, the better the chances of being helped. As my friend here said yesterday too (did I tell you she has been accepted for NDIS as well?) - this is the part where they actually start to help us, now that the the approval is done. Close friend said the person who interviewed her seemed kind and understanding. Still having some worries, but less. Will still be looking to do a bit more preparation in the leadup but, yeah, honesty.

I also think I've been so worried because one part of me is in denial about being 'that' disabled as to warrant it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I agree wholeheartedly with your approach to the pre-planning meeting @Mazarita . Yes you had mentioned about your friend getting accepted. How great that you will both have more capacity for your goals at the same time. My friends at the disability alliance who've had NDIS for longer than me have been a great support at times and helped me exercise my 'choice and control' in significant ways a couple of times. I might reach out to one of them when next I am able to delve into it. Just the meeting with CoS will be enough of it for tomorrow. I have my tai chi class with a sw tomorrow evening to take my mind off it all.

Also going to sil's mum's place for dinner tonight - will be here for another 1/2 hour tho'.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Another thing I did on the w/e was go thru' that list of questions I sent to you and answer them myself. Brought back lots of memories about different ways of wording answers. I think the crux of the matter is that they understand that bipolar is for life (tho' I'm not sure this is what you've been accepted for) and that it is episodic.

I do remember that I prepared as much as I could but then shortly before the meeting (I've had 2 and am now in my 3rd year - 2nd plan was for 2 years) I went into this zone of "well I've done my best, all I can do is be myself on the day".

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice that you will be having dinner with SIL's mum, @eth. I remember when she was teaching you Bridge.

Tai Chi is good for anxiety and from the little I've done of it, quite beautiful and balletic. Surprising how such slow flowing movements can really exercise the body.

I only just worked out some goals. I usually avoid them like the plague. Even the word has this hackneyed psych-speak ring to my ear. This is what I've come up with so far:

  1. Improve my capacity for engagement with the world outside my home.
  2. Maintain and continue to build on these improvements in an ongoing way.
  3. Improve my fitness for its benefits on mental and physical health.
  4. Maintain and continue to build on these improvements in an ongoing way.
  5. Improve capacity to independently look after myself with grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning.
  6. Maintain and continue to build on these improvements in an ongoing way.
  7. Improve capacity for monitoring and minimising the negative effects of bipolar mood swings.
  8. Maintain and continue to build on these improvements in an ongoing way.
  9. Improve my capacity to manage anger.
  10. Maintain and continue to build on these improvements in an ongoing way.

I probably shouldn't have so many but I trust that the NDIS interviewer will be able to synthesise in a way that may be similar to what happened with you. My support/advocate may have some input at our Wednesday meeting as well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita hearing you about the 'denial' feelings. I used to have swings of that too. But I can now see how much the help I get improves things for me and I have no guilt about receiving it. My family pays a lot of tax!!

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