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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Maz

I too hope you are a bit better from recent bout of illness. As we get on, there can be a few things that go wrong when something else is going right, def part of ageing. Hearing you about the young well qualified workers with little life experience in giving empathy, and varying abilities in learning how to do it. Some have been good, but there is a steady flow of new faces. I believe the services need to know that an hour paid for may not be real support and the changing workers is a BIG drain on efficacy and capacity of services to deliver service. Too much change can undo work.

Also @Zoe7 I hope your teeth are on improve. I actually went to dentist last week, cos of mild issues and they did work without me paying them as I am still locked out of bank account cos of recent (late Jan) scamming. I will pay them soon when I can.

The three of you @eth @Mazarita @Zoe7 helped me be more assertive about my self care and the level of care I received within health, mental health, and now NDIS services, over the years. I am still deeply grateful for that. It was not all obvious through suggestions or advice, but it helped in the chatty way, of comparing stories more broadly. I am not sure people realised how low and dark I was 5 yrs ago when I first logged on. I was pretty tortured, but trying to cope with a lot with my son, but you were there for me. @PeppiPatty Peppipatty helped too as I eventually joined Neami which helped me get NDIS. A similar scenario to your (maz) phams NDIS transition I guess. I am going through a re-eligibility assessment and had to get the docs in by end January, so that was probably another stressor that weighed in with my recent break-down, flipped my lid, and high SI period. So I am going to list that with the other triggers, when I tell gp. Just having to prove again when all I wanted to do was go away. I will see if what happens with NDIA in June I guess. I probably will change that co-ordinator of supports when I get time to, but the scamming came quick on the heels of getting a new computer. It was weird my spt wkr asked if I was a person who could not receive help, so that night when my computer locked up with a Will Robinson style ... trojan? warning warning virus, I became overtrusting sort of proving that I could be trusting and did not have toi do it all myself ... der ... Itrust the wrong people .... so am reflecting on all that and talking it over withg the nurse/spt wkr. Then having to wipe computer clean and get fraud at the bank involved ... weary weary sigh .... all part of why I am not here much.

Anyway KNOW you all (and @Faith-and-Hope and even sometimes grumpy sometimes funny tabby @TAB ) made a difference to keeping me alive over that first 3-4 years when things went very pear shaped for my boy, but son also needs to take some respnsibility for it. Mostly I seem to be the one blame is heaped upon. Despite my resilience and strength, I also get overwhelmed, vulnerable and traumatised. I cant keep fighting for myself, just wanted to lie down and sleep it all away through December Jan after my brief sparky throw water from my bottle on my ex ... eye roll ... he was boasting about seeing my daughter and son has moved into back of his place ... so yes feeling the parental alienation injustices big time.

Cheers.

Tomorrow 2 boys for teaching so hope that goes well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds rough. thanks for compliment and tag @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

❤️ Big hugs @Appleblossom ....,

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👋💕 @eth ..... ditto 💐

Sending out love vibes to @CheerBear and @Maggie too ...,, 💞💞💞💞🌷

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs my @Appleblossom ❤❤❤

Missing @PeppiPatty too

Hugs @Faith-and-Hope , @Mazarita , @TAB , @Zoe7 ❤❤🥰

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

😏 @Adge ......

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah well I like it @Faith-and-Hope It's Good for Self-Esteem....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

This One's Good for Self-Esteem too @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I like that one too @Adge .... 👍

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