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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good night my sister @Zoe7

I am off to bed

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Godnight @Shaz51 I hope you sleep well and then tackle tomorrow and everything on your plate when it comes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Schitzo @Jynx lovely to see the support here. @Shaz51 I really hope you have a better day today and are able to work out a balance between all the demands being put on you. Perhaps writing down a schedule of how many hours you want to 'wear each hat' per day would help. I've done something like that recently and it's working for me.

Hi to all passing here today, and also to @MDT @Judi9877 @frog @Angels333 @Bunniekins @Former-Member @Emelia8 @Abby10 @Anastasia @Eve7 @Fluttershy1 @MDMD I can see you've all tagged me in the last few days and will try to read all your posts this morning and respond where I can.

For my own mental health I've had to slow things down and take on less since getting quite accelerated with it all about a week or so ago. At least I was able to be aware of it happening and spent a few days closely monitoring myself and consciously putting the brakes on. So I've not been here since Saturday I think.

I hope you are doing ok today and apologize for not supporting in a more timely way, but as for all of us, our own mental health balance has to come first. My plan is to still be here every few days or so, that's the best I can offer at the moment.

Take care and stay kind everyone. Hope today is a gentle one for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats ok @eth
Be kind to yourself

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth

It's good to know you are slowing down and putting your mental health first. Take your time, you will get around to us all when you can, there is no rush.

Please take care 💚🌷 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Do what you need to do for you @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Zoe7 , @eth

not a good night sleep last night -- overthinking mind going and going
also mr shaz was in lots of pains too , nearly went to E&R
taking it easy today xxx

yes @eth , I have to keep reminding Mr shaz that I am now Mum's carer too and can only do soo many hours of work a week

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good evening to anyone here tonight and hello to @Shaz51 @Mazarita @Zoe7 @Schitzo @MDT @Judi9877 @Former-Member @Former-Member @Anastasia @Former-Member @Former-Member @outlander @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @CheerBear @Maggie @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @Adge @Exoplanet @Jupiter @TAB @Owlunar @frog @MDMD @Aniela @Fluttershy1

Thanks to those of you who've tagged me lately. I know I've been missing in action and apologize to anyone who's been looking for support. As if life wasn't busy already, something huge and somewhat unbelievable has happened for me this week. After having my application for 3 months and not assessing it, after a prod from my coordinator of supports, public housing assessed me as priority medical and offered me a flat this week!!!! Unheard of not to go on a waiting list for a long time before getting something. I know some of you have been walking with me on this journey and am eternally grateful. So I have a lot to put in place and also need everything to furnish a flat after living in a 1-room cabin the last nearly 4 years. This is so massive - for me to live independently and alone again - exciting but also really scary. At least I'm leaving bro and sil's place on good terms and don't have to hurry out of here, which I had big fear about for the last few months. They've said I can come back if it doesn't work out for any reason and can also stay the night here any time I want to.

It's a 1br 1st floor flat in an over-55's complex and is quite adequate for me. The common areas are meticulously maintained and the place feels very peaceful. It's an older building (maybe 70s or early 80s) in a suburb which has been gentrified and is now relatively upmarket. Friends have said 'posh' and called me a yuppy because of the location. It's half way between here and the beach, still only 5 min from bro and sil and also only 1km to the beach. I couldn't have hoped for a better location. Also the block backs onto the groovy cafe strip near town. But there are 2 buildings between mine and that street.

I'm still pinching myself when I'm not in a mental tizz about all that has to be done. Signing the lease tomorrow afternoon.

So I won't be here much at all over the next couple of weeks while I get everything sorted and installed.

Take good care of yourselves and each other and I'll be in touch when I can. Stay kind xx

Please spread the word for me, I'm too tired to do a mass tag tonight. So many people I'd like to tell but have to look after my mental health closely through this huge transition period. I know you'll all understand.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

OMG @eth I'm so pleased for you! You really deserve this housing.

XOXO ANGELS333

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

All the very Best (from me) - for setting your new place up @eth

Yes it is overwhelming, it's a lot of work.

Cannot say much more right now - my thoughts are with.

A close family friend has suddenly passed away - I've known her since I was a child.

I'm crying....

Adge

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