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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Jynx

I just can't seem to do anything right

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Aww @Shaz51 ... we can only do what we can in the moment with the knowledge that we have. I know that you're an amazingly good person, and that you will get through this. And we will be here with you while you do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Jynx
we are self employed and I have become my mum's carer
Mr shaz was worried about the lack of work which I said to relax and enjoy
but today we had 2 job opperiturities which mr shaz said to take
well tonight he is saying it is all my fault for saying yes to the new jobs
now I am worried as mr shaz has had lots of back pain and stomach upset tonight
and I am feeling I am to blame

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Definitely not all on you @Shaz51. I hope you're able to be gentle with yourself tonight, get some rest and remember that you aren't personally responsible for how things unfold.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

mr shaz is not talking tonight soo i am going to let him be
sometimes it is hard to do the right thing

@Jynx, @Schitzo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

As @Jynx said, be gentle with yourself and rest up. None of what happened is your fault 💛🌸 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Schitzo

hope you are ok my friend xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hearing you @Shaz51 Sit on it tonight and tackle it again tomorrow my sister. If it is still an issue with Mr Shaz and you cannot do the extra work then cancel it - you have enough on your plate without the extra pressure. Hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you my sister @Zoe7 , i will

mr shaz will think we can not do anything to change it but we can

hope you are ok xx

i amm just sooo tired xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes you can my sister and if that is what is needed to be done then do it @Shaz51 No-one would blame you for changing your mind - if you can't do it then so be it and Mr Shaz needs to get on board. He is not well either and you are only 2 people, not an army, so you can only do so much.

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