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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hearing and feeling you there @Appleblossom You are doing a great job of supporting him I think. Yes, part of managing with bipolar 1 is definitely learning to recognize when things are starting to change. That's the reason I keep my daily charts. Probably the first sign for me is when I get only a few hours sleep at most for a few days in a row. But also these days I can feel it if I'm starting to accelerate, or conversely if I don't want to do any of my usual activities. Anhedonia is a definite sign of impending depression for me, as getting overly immersed (obsessive about) projects a sign of elevation creeping in. It's sad that it's not safe for me to just feel the wind under my sails and let myself be lifted these days, but it keeps me out of hospital. I agree about meds making some things really hard to do, but if your son has a passion for his music I would say it's still worth going for the music exams (I think that's what the 'BMus' must be - correct me if I'm wrong). But I agree that a prolonged course of study might be hard to manage while he gets used to living on meds. That has to be the priority - or at least, it is for me. But having spent over a decade on meds now, I set myself the challenge of pursuing my writing (my passion) while I'm stable - it's very different doing it when I'm not in hypomania or mania - I have to work at it more than when it would just pour out of me, but it's been really worth the effort for about 2 years now. As they say, if you want to write you have to write - if you want to play music then you have to play music ... but perhaps there's another path to that for him. For me, short on-line courses have worked really well.

Stay strong bella! Lovely that he's telling you he loves you. I haven't heard that for many years from mine. I even had to ask them to start calling me Mum again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 and @Adge hope today is one of the better ones for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@ethThanks for the insight into general BiPolar1 Stuff. The pdoc intimated that I had let things go too much, emphasising he was very unwell, and I had to say I had been accused of pretending he was more isolated that he was by intake worker, and given the flick countless times trying to get help for him. They really need to be more careful about their assumptions. He also has to want to accept help, and not feel he has to do it all by himself. His BMus is a fulltime uni music degree. He started it this year. The sad thing is that he just discovered that he loved learning in a good educational environment and enjoyed people along with his music, when Covid hit. He had been detoxing from computer and could not handle then having to shift all to computer again and being without face to face. Too much inner conflict. Really bad luck and timing. None of us knew how much the world was going to change with Covid. Still dont. Tbh I do not mind if he shifts. We know he loves music, that can always sustain him, but honestly its the hardest industry to have a career in.

Stay Safe and Stay Kind....like that eth .. lol

Hugs Apple

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Adge

I stumbled across this post of yours, and just had to comment - that is exactly! What is going on with me at the moment. It's so difficult.

Wishing you the best for some sleep tonight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom @Adge @WIP hope today is going well so far.

I'm in the midst of my hectic 3rd week of the month - several things that happen on the wed and thurs of the 3rd week.

@Appleblossom sending warm wishes for you and your son. Hearing you about the challenges for both of you. Stay safe and stay kind .... and stay strong my friend, as you always seem to. Kia Kaha as they say in NZ. xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth

Good Luck with all your hecticness!!

I'm ok thanks. Actually had a reasonable nights sleep (extra medication though), so feeling a bit better this morning. I hope it lasts for awhile.

Hi @Adge @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Cheers@WIP

Days usually go better with sleep.

@ethVery much day by day at the moment with my boy.

Best of luck with all the busyness.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @WIP

Hey @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love it!!

Thanks @Adge 😀

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