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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

Thanks for saying hi. The farm sounds so lovely. Enjoy your day my friend. I'm off to work so won't be around for long xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a good day @Anastasia xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth
That means a lot my friend 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

s back atcha @Appleblossom sorry I missed you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey there @Appleblossom spotted your support. Maybe I haven't missed you afterall. How's your day been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just had a big first. I wanna share I wanna share.

I pulled my first dramatic yukky face ever. I had fun with it and made someone laugh. Due to various situations in childhood I worked very hard to compose my face, or not show when I was hurt or did not like something. I was not able to express disgust. Someone outside in my garden said I should join council. He was neing nice, but he got it when I said I had already worked in 3 dept. The garden is looking fabulous and I have been giving all the shaggy grasses a spiky hair cut to go with the top knot pigeons.

@eth @Mazarita @Adge @Anastasia @MDT @Emelia8 @Zoe7 @Former-Member @NatureLover @Shaz51

and all new people I have not met yet.

Sorry. A bit silly. maybe. Using the tongue smiley felt dangerous for a while and only used it more recently.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth in my excitedness I did not see that last post. Hugs.

Had a Big talk with my son. Can only walk with them. Cant live their lives.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap! @Appleblossom Go you!!!

If you want to talk about your talk with your son I'm here. I know how you feel about the constant letting go we have to do as they become more independent and make their mistakes. I'm still doing it and mine is 32 in a few weeks.

Realised on the weekend just how much I miss the joy that used to be in our (me and my child) relationship sometimes - rarer and rarer over the last years. It made me cry. And the music I was listening to enabled me to really feel it freely - In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel - a theme song for me since my child started life legally blind.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love it @Appleblossom go you!!!

Hugs all round for you and @eth with our sons xxx

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