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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth @Mazarita @Snowie @MDT @TAB @Appleblossom and everyone here. I've been reading some of the things everyone has posted and although I haven't replied, I'd just like to say I'm thinking of each of you in spirit in forumland. Please keep strong and know that I'm here for each of you despite me being a little distant.

This leads me to explain why. I'm struggling with lockdown here in Melbourne- stage 4 and I'm living with my sister and housemate at my sisters house for the 6 weeks due to being up here visiting when the new restrictions came into play. That's led to extra stress with me feeling like my housemate and my sister are teaming up against me in certain things like housework and what I eat or don't eat, like certain foods. Yep. Typically mundane things. It doesn't help that my housemate doesn't drive so I have to take her places each day, like to the supermarket to get food as she likes things fresh. Anyway, we all gave MH so that makes for interesting times. My sister doesn't rent so doesn't understand that when I get stressed over those issues, she thinks that things will be okay when it's not that simple. For example, our landlord has just changed agents to a new real estate agency and we found out via email about this. The old real estate property manager has given this new agent the wrong information and has said that we are behind in rent- we aren't and have proof of this via bank statements- and also, this new property manager has messed up by not getting my email correct which means I haven't been getting their emails- only my housemate has. In addition to this, this new property manager is making claims that we haven't put rent into the new account - again, we have and have proof- and wants to evict us without even talking to us about this. Oh, and not to forget, the property manager is also sending emails at 6pm at night which is not allowed under residential laws here in Melbourne. I know my housemate and I have done everything right and have evidence to support this with proof of payment for rent, and I know the agent can't evict us due to laws in place here in Victoria due to covid19, but I'm still stressed about this. My housemate is dealing with this tomorrow morning but I just needed to get things out.

Thanks for reading.

Judi9877

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

rent agents are pretty low @Judi9877 , and obviously trying it on, seeing how many believe them

Should report them

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @TAB
Thanks for responding forumite friend. I would report these agencies but can’t until the new residential tenancies act is put in place on 1 January next year. It’s been delayed because of covid19 stuff here in Victoria- was meant to come in on July 1 this year. It gives us tenants a chance to list agents as being bad unlike tenants as it was previously which agents could do if they believe you were a bad tenant. I’m so looking forward to this as there are several agents that I’ll be listing.
Judi9877

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

doubt tat will ever happen in other states @Judi9877 but its a step in right direction i guess .. what a system 2 parties pay the value of a house, one gets the value and the gains etc the other gets the door

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Judi9877

I am gad you got things out and hoping you feel a little better for it. Seems like you are going through so much at the moment, my thoughts are with you hun.

Take care of yourself xoxo 💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Judi9877 very sorry to hear how much pressure you're under at this time. I hope by now your housemate has been able to sort things out with your new real estate agent. What a drama for you, as if things weren't hard enough being in lockdown away from home. Take care.

Hi also @MDT @Snowie @TAB @Kurra @Angels333 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom

I can see I have notifications from you and will read them all in a minute. Sorry for the delay, but as usual my weekdays are fairly busy and I need time out between things. Just wanted to say hi first.

And hello to anyone else reading this. Would love to tag lots of people but not up to it right now. You know who you are.

I'm going up to the farm with bro for the day tomorrow so won't be around for the Saturday Soiree - all welcome!! . It will be really good to get out of town so I'm seizing the opportunity.

Had an interesting appointment with my psychologist yesterday. She is recommending that I do group programs as an outpatient at a private hospital a fair way from here. They go for a half day and cost more than I can afford. She says that recovery from trauma is better doing group and individual work. I have to make enquiries about it and suss out if I can use my NDIS funds for it. Fingers crossed. Then there are the logistics of doing it as it's quite a distance from home. If I need a support worker to take me and bring me home I'll probably have to book them for 4 1/2 hours on top of the hospital fee. I'm quite keen to do them but there's a bit of paper chasing to do before that even remotely may be possible. Sorting that out is my task for this week. The psychologist is posting me a brochure so I have at least until next week's appointment to get onto it. She actually designed the program but no longer works there.

Will look forward to hopefully catching up with people on Sunday/Monday if I miss you today.

@Maggie @Adge @Teej @outlander @Zoe7 @Anastasia @NatureLover @BlueBay @Exoplanet @Sophia1 @CheerBear @Musiclover @SageSolid @Marion1 @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Sans911 @Emelia8 @frog @WIP @Bezak482 @Gazza75 @Bunniekins @Meowmy @Dadcaringalone @WriterMelb @BPDSurvivor @Blep @DJMasters

@Eve7 @Molliex @Ant7 @Arty @Owlunar Hi to you all too. Hope the week has been relatively peaceful for you. If anyone wants to start the Soiree tomorrow that would be great. Thanks in advance.


Take care and stay safe and kind all xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Thanks for tagging me.

Sometimes staying busy is a good thing, but glad you can acknowledge that you also need down time in there too.

Hoping you have a good time with your bro out at the farm. After lockdown, it will be good to get into the open spaces and some fresh air.

I too have done group work through a private mh hospital. Some of it was useful, some not so much, I think it just depends on what the course is. I hope the NDIS covers it for you.

Hoping today goes ok for you 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Snowie Do you have NDIS? If not, how did you pay for the group work? I've been told it's over $300 per session. I can't afford private health insurance.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

No I do not have NDIS but I do have a workcover claim. So workcover paid for the group work. It was recommended to me via my pdoc. I did find most of the groups beneficial and it was worth the travel time. I also found it was nice connecting with people who had similar diagnoses to me and was very easy to relate to them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again @Snowie I feel reassured that it's a good idea to pursue.

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