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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Gee @eth If a Support Worker (or anyone) said something like that to me -

- That would "Do my head in".....

Sounds patronising, belittling & rude (to me) - I could be wrong.

The statement is too ambiguous (open to interpretation) & confusing - which would leave me wondering "What the....did she mean by saying that"?

Hugs (((eth))))

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again @Maggie and you too @Adge I know where she was coming from as this week I've talked with her at length about the trouble with bro last weekend and the things he wants me to do more/less if I'm to continue living here (I've written at length about it already here). We had talked about me having the right to the 'dignity of risk', something everyone is entitled to, in particular with the ultimatums about smoking. And how I feel like I'm constantly being scrutinised here - the others have gone to the farm for the weekend so that pressure is off for a couple of days.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignity_of_risk

Very interesting concept. And very applicable to my situation.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Yes, I agree, a very interesting concept. A good read. Thanks for sharing.

I hope your weekend is pleasant, relaxing and yours. 💚💚

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

s @Maggie

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry I didn't reply last night @eth. What an utterly inappropriate thing for your support worker to say, even if it was just an off-the-cuff comment. Sorry for the anxiety that caused you. I hope you're feeling better today 🌼💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Molliex Still coming down from the flood of neurotransmitter chemistry last night, but somewhat better gradually. So sorry to hear your news elsewhere. Lots of warm hugs xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 💙💚

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning @eth I hope the electro/chemical process has settled a bit for you, I hope you slept some I know it can be a long process, but your body will process it, each individual has a different way including the amount of time it takes. I think all you can do is accept that it's happening & manage as best you can while it does.

Love & support for you Eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet I ended up taking a prn yesterday and had a nap, woke feeling a lot more centred. Cooked and shared with sil's mum in the evening and then had a long chat with my old mate from the Territory.

You're right about acceptance and managing what is. Spent this morning doing vacuming, cleaning the bathroom and weeding the driveway and sweeping the huge concrete slab that the jacaranda is dropping it's leaves onto at a rate of knots. Took over 2 hours but felt good - just hope bro and sil realise I've made an effort. Also had enough left of last night's cauliflower biryani for us all to have a hot lunch when they got back from the farm. Have to let go of the way bro vented and move forward. Focus on the positives about being here. The major challenge now is to smoke much less - that's the hardest for me, I'm so addicted to it.

Hope you've had a good day. I'll have to visit your thread. I just don't get around on the forums like I used to. I needed to step back a bit as I was losing several hours every day down the rabbit hole for a while there.

Take care my friend. Stay safe and kind xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes and hugs @eth

My SIL is very negative and says things all the time that you can and would take the wrong way

Hello @Mazarita , @Exoplanet , @outlander , @Molliex

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