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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Good morning all. Thankyou soooo much for all your support @NatureLover @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Former-Member @MDT @Appleblossom @Owlunar @Angels333 @Maggie @Sans911 @BlueBay @outlander it really means a lot to me.

Faith - my brother was actually quite angry and fired up for a lot of the conversation. And has snapped at me since then too. At least he apologized for that the next day. But still went on to point out his judgment that I was not thinking like an adult when I expressed some anxiety to him. Pretty back-handed.

Apple - I pay $200 per week rent to be here. Not just contributing my cooking for the clan, that's mostly only once a week at the moment. Used to be twice but it was nearly doubling my food bill to cook for 4 twice a week.

I had a psychology appointment on Wednesday - just blurted it all out and could have talked for hours (50 min ap't). She really helped me by giving me positive feed back and validating how I was feeling about it all. And some more understanding of the dynamics at play. I got really emotional talking with her - partly a delayed reaction and partly because she already feels like a safe person to let my feelings/thoughts out with. Will see her (facetime on the phone) most weeks for a while and give her style of therapy a chance to progress.

I'll be away til Monday as we're going to the farm this afternoon. Please take care everyone, stay safe and stay kind. Thanks again for your responses.

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

So much you have been going through emotionally @eth that I hope this farm stay gives you a little peace. Stay safe Hon and enjoy your time away

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Not sure about his story @eth if he is older or what ...

but you do not owe him too much if you feel unsafe.

Safe expression of anger is important and very tricky.

My brother stayed with me once for a while after hospital visit. He paid with painting my bookcase and then later after cousin ... came and threw a spanner in our works he left, but dropped a beautiful loaf of bread at my door. Memories is all I have got and I treasure the positive, but the negative were significant and serious. I was 18 months older, but did more than my bit.

Finding your own balance is key.

Apple

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Thinking of you @eth that sounds like a lot to process. I really hope the farm provides a bit of breathing space.

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Thinking of you @eth sending some 💞💞💞

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Thanks a lot @Maggie and s back to you xoxo

Hi also @Shaz51 @Judi9877 @Blep @TAB @MDT and thanks for your tags. Still catching up with each of your posts.

And @Mazarita @Adge @frog @Appleblossom @Sans911 @outlander @Snowie @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Faith-and-Hope @Angels333 @Molliex @Exoplanet @WriterMelb @NatureLover @Former-Member @Meowmy @Former-Member @jem80 @BPDSurvivor @Dadcaringalone @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @Zoe7 @saltandpepper @Former-Member @Lee82 @Gazza75 @BlueBay @Ant7 @Bimby2 @Sophia1 @Jupiter @Former-Member @Owlunar - and anyone passing who I've missed (sorry) .....

Even when I'm not here much I think of you good folk often. Hope life is going smoothly for you and that you have any support you want. I've just been busy offline plus frustrated that my internet's been coming and going for several days now, so kinda gave up trying and found other things to do. Also now finding I've not received any notification of lots of tags so sorry if I haven't responded.

Had yet another lengthy phone call with housing about my application - seems to be sorted now (hoping and everything crossed!). Plus have done a bit of writing - a poem that introduces me (about how my brain works with bipolar influencing my ability to write) and another one for my mum's upcoming 80th birthday that I think I've finished today. Tonight I am starting in a new writing group with the writers centre and immediately following that is a meeting with another group for writers and artists who identify as having a disability that I've met with twice before. Both are zoom meetings. A shame that they are on the same night but I'm going to try to do both. Quite looking forward to it actually.

Was also looking forward to going up to Bris for mum's big day Aug 1 and staying on with my sister for at least a couple of weeks but the covid numbers are rising again in NSW - not locally but it looks like the QLD border will close again. I just don't want to risk getting stuck up there or having to quarantine on my return. But had already started planning for a 3 week holiday while I kept an eye on the news.

Hoping to be around for Saturday Soiree this week. Thanks to those who made it happen over the weekend just passed.

Time at the farm was really peaceful and also productive - time spent helping convert an bodgy old shipping container into a gorgeous tiny house, working on the outside walls - painting, sarking, flitching (fancy new words, hey?!) I found the gathering on the Saturday night really challenging. About 16 people (against the covid rules I think - some of the other shareholders invited guests) around a bonfire at which a feast was cooked in camp ovens ... 2 sides of lamb and masses of roast veg ... usually the sort of thing I would absolutely love, but it was nigh on impossible to maintain safe distance amongst so many people. I felt really anti-social but also as if it was very risky. The 3 of us (me, bro and sil) spent most of the weekend keeping to ourselves further up the hill and working on the reno's. Super cold nights but more stars than ever and a lovely campfire-cooked bbq on the Friday night.

Hope life is gentle on you all and hoping to catch up with people soon. Take care and stay kind. xoxo

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

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Hey @eth Was just coming to post here for you as I hadn't seen you for a few days and here you are - such a lovely surprise

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Lovely to see you too @Zoe7 how are your school holidays going? (If I've got that right).

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Going okay @eth I am way behind all the work I need to get done but have had some time off today and feel much better at getting back to it tonight.

You have certainly been super busy - very pleased to hear that the housimg stuff may finally be sorted 👍😁

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