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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your thoughtful response @BPDSurvivor I knew people here would 'get it'. It will be a support worker (I have NDIS) that I go out with, but my support coordinator does happen to also be a social worker. He's been doing a great job lately of helping me with my public housing application, still a work in progress on top of everything else that's been happening lately.

Hope things are going smoothly for you today.

And thanks to you too @Faith-and-Hope xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @eth so much going on for you. It does sound like you've had a little breathing space to yourself in the last couple of days. Things can feel relentless without a break like that. I am really hoping the new psych is a good fit. I am thinking of you and sending peaceful vibes your way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good afternoon to all here. Thanks for your kind words @frog. Also tagging @Jupiter @MDT @Former-Member @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Judi9877 @Angels333 @Maggie and @Appleblossom ... Hi to you all. I can see from my notifications that you've all tagged me in the last couple of days but haven't read all your posts yet. Just wanted to say hi while I have time.

I did put my feet up most of the afternoon Sunday and then had a busy time yesterday and today. Appointments, paperwork for housing application including medical assessment, 2 hrs on it today with my support co-ordinator - we are now only waiting on one document!!!, but also enjoyable group meals with family. Things have settled down a bit but words are still echoing in my head. Once said can't be unsaid. Also my walk with my support worker had to be cancelled because her grandson who lives with her has symptoms and my new psychologist postponed seeing me until mid-June. Drats and darn to both of those things. Did get out for a good walk yesterday with bro and the dog - the only outings I'm getting regularly at this time. So - like I say, it's been snot and birthday cake - some not nice and some good things going on.

Had a lovely 2hr chat yesterday evening with a good mate who's sailing in the islands of Croatia now (it's summer there) - stunning to see in the many photos and short videos he sent me. And lots of happy memories too - we've known each other since our teens.

Also spent time Sunday night in a zoom meeting my Mum was also in listening to an Aboriginal elder from the Brisbane area talk about what reconciliation means. Good conversation with Mum afterwards.

Sending warm wishes to all who read this and hoping things are going smoothly for you good folk. Will go and catch up on your posts now.

@outlander @Adge @TAB @Exoplanet @Shaz51 @Molliex @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @BPDSurvivor @Snowie @Dadcaringalone @NatureLover @WriterMelb @Blep and many more I could mention - this goes out to you all with warm wishes too. This is where you'll mostly find me if you want to chat during the week. Special thoughts to @Mazarita too xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good afternoon to you too @eth 😊🌸

Hey ... well done on the housing application ... nearly done. Hope that final document comes through quickly and then its another tick in the box. I realise it will be a way off before you get any results from it, but at least its a step in the right direction. I'm sorry there are still some underlying tensions with regards to your bro. Maybe once you get that housing application in, then it may help ease some of those tensions as well.

Oh damn ... how disappointing about your support worker not being able to go on the walk with you. At least you got out for a walk with your bro ... and the dog.

I was already aware that your psychologist had postponed to a later date. But thats only a couple of weeks off. I do understand how it affects us though when a late cancellation of a psych appt comes along. If you are like me, its something you sort of work yourself up to over several days or even as much as a week beforehand. And you are left hanging, if its cancelled at late notice. It has happened to me only twice, but I dont handle it very well at all.

Wow .. that sounds interesting, as well as a bit of a morale booster. Sailing the islands of Croatia right now would be lovely. Wonder how they are getting along with the Coronavirus though? Wondering what happened to your long term male friend (from QLD I think). I guess with the border closures in QLD, the intended visit has been put on hold. Or is it the same friend who is now in Croatia? Anyway it must have been nice reliving some happy memories with this childhood friend of yours yesterday. Do they live overseas permanently?

Good to hear that you had a good conversation with your Mum on Sunday night too. In fact there were a lot of positives in your post. I'm glad.

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope no-one minds me putting all my responses together here.

@Former-Member I hope all the appointments this week go smoothly for you and hubby. It's a big week for you.

@Maggie I'm sure you'll be a fabulous guide. You just do what you can when you can - and as others have said, you are already doing it! Thanks for your kind words elsewhere yesterday.

@CheerBear hope your middle is feeling better today and that your newish work is going well.

@outlander really hope you've been able to get some relief since last we spoke.

@frog I hope today's been a better day for you.

xoxo to all of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

no @eth not any better,have a lot of tests coming up the next few days.
i have the kids till 1030 so abit hard to chat atm. will catch up soon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Hey there! It's 2 different friends - the one who is going to come visit is in the NT but we are having some nice chats. Just hope he actually makes it this time as the last planned visit fell through. He's hanging out for the borders to open to hit the road - I'm feeling cautious about loosening covid restrictions to be honest. We'll see what unfolds. We'll probably go camping up at the farm if he does get down. I would really like to spend some time with him again ...we've known each other since 2001 and been together on and off since 2005 - but never in a conventional relationship. I can't tell yet if he wants it to be more like that now that he knows how much he's missed me (he says) - I left at the end of 2016 - but I know he's not likely to move from the NT and I'm not likely to go back so there's the challenge. He's a really entertaining character, tells a fabulous yarn, and the salt of the earth type.

The one in Croatia sailing I've known since around 1978!!! (When we were in our teens). We did have a moment once, in 2000, and last night that came up in conversation.... I think it gave both of us a big smile. But he's comitted to his work in Europe and the Caribbean (he's a superyacht captain) and rarely gets back to Oz.

I don't want you to think I'm playing both of them - I don't even remember how to flirt and wouldn't if I could - I'm just keeping an open mind. I don't even know that I'm ready to be in a relationship where my life is at right now anyway. But it's nice having connections with them both in their differences.

They both put a smile on my face and that's a good thing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Thanks for the update! You sound like you are in a much better place.

If anything, COVID-19 has taught us connection is essential.

It's so great to be able to connect in these forums.

Catch you later!

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It all sounds perfectly fine @eth ... I have always been someone who gets on much better with males than females. Perhaps its to do with me being into sport, and things most men are interested in. I was never much for female gossip or a lot of things most women want to talk about. I never really felt I had much in common with most of them. But other than my first boyfriend (the creep one) and then my husband, my friendships have all been purely platonic. No I dont think you are playing either one of them ... I just think you enjoy male companionship. And if it develops into more than that .. fabulous. The important thing for now is that having those friendships bring a smile to your face, and its not doing anybody any harm.

I hope the Territorian can visit soon and that its an enjoyable visit when he does get here. Who knows ... it could be something worth resurrecting. Ummm ... any chance of getting over to Europe or the Caribbean for a superyacht holiday? 😊

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not likely @Former-Member !!! Not only coz no money for that sort of travel, but also I wouldn't be up to it mentally. That one doesn't know about me and bipolar 1, tho I have mentioned PTSD I think at some stage. I am really wary of disclosing that until I know I'm safe to do so - which I probably am, but haven't found an appropriate or timely way to mention it. Some people run a mile when they know bipolar is part of my story. I don't think he would. We have a special connection because he was with me the day my father died (Dad was in Canada) and took me to the next town to get my tickets etc to go to Dad's funeral over there. And supported me as I grieved. He's another special person that's for sure.

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