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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Adge

I love those pictures - I forgot I was going to try and make something on my Office - yesterday I did a lot on my jigsaw puzzle and forgot

You had a hard day it seems - it's a different world out there and not easy for many - most - and it seems as if they have set up a problem for you to get your holiday pay - sigh - I hear you. Things are tough enough - maybe there is a force around making it harder

Now - I used my magic wand a lot in the past

We need to take notice of excessive data warnings

And I kept using it anyway though it didn't work that well - then look what happened

Always take notice of excessive data usage warnings

Sorry - I have given wand-waving away - and I can't help with your access to your holiday pay - mmm

I'm trying to be a good wizard today

This is the best I can do - behave myself and try and keep excessive data usage down - all the best Adge

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

Hi Maz - I had to take a look but up the thread to find what I had posted about memories and Easter - yes - I have had some bad Easters - 1986 had to be the worst - it was a bad year anyway.

So there is a silver lining in most things - and when a useless specialist set me to thinking why the death of my son was a traumatic loss - I have long since stopped grieving in a deep and mind-destroying way so why was it all so dark?

Yes - his death was terrible and the truth still is but when I teased the year apart I could see that starting that year in January with the first of three court hearings for my son and it all went down-hill from there.

When I sorted that out the memories themselves they were bad - I had developed PTSD during 1986 - and as a lot of time has passed I am tired of spending so much of every year feeling bad about things I had no control over - I have given over enduring it every day - I still have my bad moments and I did at Easter - but it has passed and I found that just sitting and letting it pass - let it pass - and I was okay after it.

So - it's only last year since that specialist triggered all that - strange how time bends and twists at times - I found that among the trash of the scattered and tattered memories there were good times. I believe I am a better and stronger person for not abandoning my son that year - for sticking with him - I have some really good memories about my son in that time - I had not gone into those memories last year I would not have found the strong person I was even then - and the wisdom I have found.

It was worth it. And I can also remember what a great year 1993 was - so many good things happened that year

I think life is a great work of art full of light and shadow and the light would not be defined without the shadows and the shadows can only be seen because of the light. I know I will sometimes have terrible moments because of my son but he changed me forever

Thanks Maz

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita

Thats great I find it no different than normal this stay at home orders. I am finding it difficult when it becomes 'we are in it together' then when they are back to their lives those who struggle are completely forgotten. I guess its political than mental health. I'm enjoying the quiet no planes flying over and excess traffic and parties. I hope you find your balance.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @eth

I signed up with a zoom too. The group is in its early stages so it has much to offer? My mindfulness helps me to keep on top of things although its not prefect. Today the lawn guy is here with a huge mower to tackle the jungle lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Very good @Owlunar Your Wizard managed to Zap a hole in something.

Well that's a good start.

Don't Good Witches & Wizards come last?

Better be a Bad one then....

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Valentine yes besides the shops no real difference to how my life runs normally

I drank the kool aid at first but, yes somehow if your misfortune isnt directly attributable to virus you will prob be worse off in the end Oh Well ..

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