FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

24,561 - 24,570 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member you are not being pushed away, I just suggest that you could get more support offline as well as what you have here. In a way that would keep you safe from harm as you were saying you don't want to be here anymore.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Former-Member,

I'm sorry we didn't check in with you earlier here. As you're talking about not wanting to be alive I'm going to send you an email soon to check in with you.

Take care of yourself,

Tortoiseshell

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth You said:

"Wow I think the forums are officially the quietest I've seen in nearly 6 years. Really hoping it means that lots of people are doing ok and just busy in offline life".

That is definitely worth hoping for.

However, it usually means the opposite (in my experience).

It takes a huge amount of energy & concentration to engage, using a text-based method of communication.

So in times of overwhelm, or repeated difficult experiences (in life) - it's either not possible, or is much more difficult to use the forums (text communication) for connection & mutual support.

Kind Regards,

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 👋
How are you holding up? I haven't read back and I seem to be missing tag notifications so I apologise if ive missed some of your posts
How is the driving going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hey @Adge @Exoplanet @Mazarita @Owlunar @Bunniekins and all passing through 👋

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Adge hope today is one of the better ones for you. I do understand about the challenges of engaging here when life offline is a struggle. Do take care my friend.

Hi @outlander the driving is going quite well. Thanks for asking.

I've had 8 out of 10 lessons now. Going further and on busier roads every time. Yesterday is the first time I've had to hit the brakes in a hurry after not seeing that someone was coming across me from the right. I had thought they were turning left before they got to me. Sure put my heart rate up! But as my instructor said, I did spot it and pulled up in time, avoiding collision, so he said I handled it really well. And the spike in adrenalin etc didn't trigger me to dissociate or lose peripheral awareness, which was one of my biggest fears when I started. He said it's actually one of the worse intersections. I'll certainly be more aware there from now on. Still find the thought of doing it alone very daunting, but I will take a support worker with me for a while I think.

General catch up for anyone who's interested ... @Maggie @Mazarita @Adge @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @TAB @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @Former-Member (miss you heaps) @Sans911 @Sophia1 @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Meowmy @Snowie @Teej @frog @The-red-centaur @Scarecrowe @Silenus @BlueBay @Wanderer @Molliex @saturnzoon @Queenie @TheVorticon @Angels333 @octavia and anyone else passing here today.

Back into tai chi twice weekly now and enjoying it as much as ever.

Have my psychologist this morning - still chasing a letter from her stating my needs for my public housing application. She's always slow with this sort of thing despite being really on the ball in other ways. She wants to communicate by email about it rather than take up our session time with it, which is fine with me if she actually gets around to doing it. It's a few weeks now since I asked for it. I hate the feeling I am nagging her about it. She goes on maternity leave in a few weeks. I will miss her greatly. She's sure she'll be coming back but as always I am thinking of scenarios that might prevent that. She said she'd find someone to take over and give them lots of info so I don't have to start from scratch with the new one - will see how that goes. I'm in a pretty good place atm in terms of EMDR progress and having ap'ts further apart for a few months and just dealing with current stuff feels like it'll be ok if that's the way it unfolds.

Have slightly increased support worker hours at the suggestion of my coordinator of supports so that there is an hour or two of uncomitted time on each booking (on top of necessary ap'ts, groceries and chemist, and other necessary stuff). To make time for increased walking (and working on doing it independently locally), public transport training, learning to use my induction cooker etc (some of my goals in my NDIS plan) that haven't been happening for quite a while.

Won a prize last week for a new short story and have my writing group starting again so that's a bit of enjoyment too. And the womens group at the disability alliance. And some training days with them late March I hope.

So ... quite a lot on my plate, but at least half of it is choice things not have to's. Striving for more balance, more pleasure.

Hope today is one of the better ones for all who read this. I'd love to hear about how things are going for you all too. I've mostly been supporting and not adding much lately so hope it hasn't felt like I was letting friendships slide.

Take good care all xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

X

X

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth. So lovely to read an update for you. Well done with the driving! That's great you reacted to a situation on the road so well. 🌻🌻

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth thanks for the tag and update. It seems you have some nice things slotting into place to make life a little more manageable and enjoyable. And you're ticking off goals which is awesome. You also seem more assured and self aware about what your needs and wants are, and that helps a lot in Mental illness. Well done on the prize for your short story. That's something to be very proud of. Same goes for your driving lessons.

In response to: X

Re: A long rave

Thanks lot @Wanderer @Molliex @Sans911 for reading and responding. Hope today went ok for you all.

@Wanderer Managing chronic pain as well as mental health challenges is a big load. I'm amazed to hear of your book you are writing. What an achievement. So far for me it's been poetry, prose and short stories, tho' I sometimes think they might turn into an anthology or book of connected short stories - but I'm just taking it as it comes at the moment, not focussed on something bigger. For me the challenge is to be writing when I'm not in a manic bipolar episode, which is when a lot of my writing over the years took place. Joining the regional writers centre has really helped me, especially winning 2 prizes so far for readings at the main art gallery in town. I have complex PTSD too so I get how much of a roller coaster that can be. Nice to hear that you're in a good place with your new home.

I don't think you need to be too anxious about what you write in the forums. You always express yourself well, and it's got to be about what you need to say first and how others respond after that. At least that's how I see it, for the forums to best help us.

Take care all xx

24,561 - 24,570 of 27,230