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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

LOL No they wouldn't be @Adge

I've been shopping this afternoon and found just what I wanted for work - had to buy a couple of things online as they didn't have my size in store but I'm in no rush to get them as I don't go back to work until the beginning of February. They are Christmas presents from my Mum - put it all on my credit card and she will pay me back. I didn't want her to stress about christmas presents before christmas as she still had a lot of work to get done before she retired so we agreed to do the shopping after christmas - all done now 👍

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice, new clothes @Zoe7 Even if a bit hard to find your right size.

A Christmas present from your Mum, even better.

I always get unusually excited (sometimes stressed) about buying myself new clothes - probably because I sometimes go a year or two (or more), before buying any.

Unaffordable expense most often - Op Shops are are good incentive (affordable), if they have the right size (often not).

I don't know if anyone else gets excited over buying a new pair of bright orange pants (I have 3 pairs) - I do.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well that gives me a very different image of our little finch @Adge - not one, not two but THREE pairs of orange pants - you must LOVE orange I am the opposite - it is my least favourite colour but is growing on me. Mum often buys things with orange it them for me despite me saying I don't like orange - so I suppose over time she has worn me down lol

Unpacked and put away everything here so now sitting in front of the tv watching the cricket - looks like it might be over today the way the Kiwis are batting.

Have a load of washing on also and have done all the washing up so achieved most of what I intended to do today 👍 Also have some ironing to do but it is too warm at the moment so will leave that until tonight. Haven't had to put the air con on yet (my house keeps cool in summer and warm in winter) but suspect I will have to tomorrow - supposed to be 38 - that is way too hot for me so an inside day for sure.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you dont me butting in @Adge and @Zoe7

but 3 pairs of orange pants ...

I have one pair which I bought on special for $10

a group I am in has orange as a colour to wear for performance, so I was relieved I would find an "appropriate" place for them.

Some of the guyz go for the loud and proud, blinded by the light look and others go for a thin wisp of a hanky or tie against black.

Feeling a bit sad about fires in East Gippsland and cancellation of festival in th Otways. It going to be a long summer ... sigh.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We have similar conditions coming tomorrow @Appleblossom 38 degrees and at least 80km winds so everyone here is bracing for what could happen. The last time we had conditions like that there were massive fires that literally took out a whole community - so everything crossed the day passes with no fires here. The situation around the country is unbelievable right now - and so early in the season - so yes it is going to be a long summer ...especially for the firies and volunteers ...our hearts go out to all those affected

You and @Adge could start your own forum group - only orange pants allowed lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well it's all about training myself to wear some bright colours @Zoe7 @Appleblossom Without feeling terribly conspicuous or embarrassed (which I do quite often).

After decades of wearing only Navy Blue, Black, Grey, Brown, etc (very drab).

I'm breathing sighs of relief that we've had a few day's relief from the searing temperatures (here).

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @eth @Shaz51 @outlander and to anyone else that reads this rant! I have zero tolerance, lost it all today. I threw all my step sons things out in the yard. I know that sounds extreme! And it is. His behavior towards women, is highly unacceptable. You don't pay the bills here mate, I do. He still thinks he owns the house! I give and give and give. I know he's my family but give me a break, no one should be treated the way he treats us. I'm done, just done

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't see that as extreme at all @octavia You have given him more chances than he deserves and you have the right to both feel safe and be treated with respect in your own house (and in life) so if that is what you need to do then so be it - he has made his own bed and now he can lie in it. I have no time for anyone who treats women (or infact anyone) with the disdain that your step son does so also no empathy there. Do what you need to do Hon to find that peace in your life you deserve - he has had chance upon chance to change his ways and failed yet again - so now he can suffer the consequences ...and as harsh as that may seem to some - it is of his making and he can now deal with the consequences.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hearing you @octavia

I had to leave my marriage. My husband was immature and enabled some of the steps attitudinal problems. She was a girl, but that can be just as destructive. Limits for personal sanity show he has gone too far. Often people are taken for granted in that scenario.

Take Care of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 You have summed it up pretty much. That's exactly the state where we are at. He will come back at a certain point today. He will get told the same thing. Your not welcome here! I tried calling his mental health services and after hrs contacts, no one is available. I understand it's a public holiday. but honestly, people have mental breakdowns on public holidays! We made him go to mental health a week ago. It worked for 3days, and that awful person returned. Farustration and fury is all I feel I now.

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