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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth and have a good
break away. All the best for 2020.
Bimby2.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Enjoy your holiday break @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bimby2

@Bimby2 @MDT @Former-Member @Zoe7 @eth and @Mazarita of course

Good Luck on your trip eth.

I have also looked at Hire up cos my CoS is porbably not looking out for my best interests, but more concerned with stating colour of her skin and heritage issues, and superficial negative comments rather than actually comiong up with substantive insight into my position and suggesting things ... I thanked her for a few extra neck related sessions, but there was a real coldness at end of her interview ... so thinking I should eventually get someone else.

In a weird way, I am putting myself at the table. My support worker used the "bite me tongue" saying about herself, and then said I had plenty of practise at biting my tongue. I dont think I have much idea about what it would feel like as IU think I was hard wired to ... not say ... as nobody would listen or wanted to know, and how to even forumlate a retort was kind of absent in me as I was full of all the bullying and posturing of everybody else I encountered in my childhood. The only time I knew I had to speak was when it was somebody else's need. So in that sense I became good at being diplomatic, I never saw it as false or a mask, as it was with me so thoroughly from such an early age ... 6 ish ... I was responsible or quiet ...or helpful ... or a model student ... my mother never tried to meet my unique needs and was resentful if I needed a doctor etc ... It has taken me this long to recognise and put words to her behaviours ... I just took it all as normal ... did not know any different.

So even though this support worker used the whinging word ... she is trying to look at things from my point of view ... in many ways ... and she actually paid me for my CD as she had said ... just $10 ... but a respectful transaction ... was interested in all my alternative words for christmas carols ... and continues to come up with brief words and ideas that show she is trying to do the right thing by me ... so I will stay and continue to "get along" with her ...

I do bite my lip ... recently ... and have pressed my lips together a bit in last 10 years ... in seriousness have to muster my strength ... and get on with it ...

I know I have put many words out on the forum .. but it was through typing and not through verbals ... I would have had buckleys if I had relied on my mouth to do the talking .... wry ... ha ha ... lol

I am still here ... and thank you to all have cared or simply and quietly interacted with me. That has been significant.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth (no that's not Romance - that's Kind Thoughts).....

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth yeah not good over here. I'm very much considering packing my bags and leaving. we can't help him, he doesn't want help. and I have no option to his housing. he has no where to go. but at least I do. I'm so exhausted. I've had enough.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You've done exceptionally well @eth to get through a busy day and challenging relationships. Enjoy your time away and I hope you come back refreshed. Safe travels.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Enjoy your break @eth ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @outlander @Sans911 and @Adge and thanks for the kind wishes. Leaving this afternoon and just finished packing, sorting my meds etc.

@Adge I noticed you've not been around much. Hoping this finds you well.

@octavia If I were in your situation I'd be leaving too. In fact when my adult child was in their late teens and flaring up including violence towards me that's exactly what I did. This was after having the police attend many times and also police taking them to hospital, where they were assessed by the MH team and sent home. For 4 months I left my flat and my kid in it. As they are legally blind I couldn't conscience putting them out to fend for themself. Once they finished their year 12 I tried to come home and it was a disaster. So I ended up going to court for an apprehended violence order. The magistrate gave them a lecture and put them on a behaviour order, telling them that if they breeched it within the next 12 months they would have a conviction on their record forever. So I returned to my home and we got through the next 12 months (with extreme tension) but the day after the order expired they acted out again, and this time I stood my ground. Ultimately they left home in a stormy tantrum and never lived with me again (now aged 31). I very much hope you don't have to go to the extremes that I did but wanted you to know you do have options. You have the legal right to peaceful and private enjoyment of your home. Do take care. I hope you have a haven you can go to while things get sorted out in some way.

My notifications are now turned off so if anyone tags me between now and 8 Jan I won't see it. @outlander @Shaz51 @frog @Faith-and-Hope @Teej @CheerBear if you see anyone tagging me perhaps you could let them know. Thanks in advance.

Hope the New Year starts gently and contains promise for all you good folk. Take care all xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth Oh well, I've missed catching you before you left.

Yes I've experienced massive & frequent triggers - from forum posts recently.

So then I cannot post or interact as much (or at all).

Plus real-life events that have been stressful - seems to happen a lot this time of year (people tell me)(common experience).

Then many people have gone quiet (not posting on forums) these past few days.

So there is less interaction & mutual support, just when it is needed the most.

I'm working right through to New Year (it has not been a holiday).

Adge

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