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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Former-Member @Maggie @Shaz51 @MDT @Appleblossom @Snowie @outlander thanks once again for the tags. I will catch up on your individual posts shortly. It's really nice to have people acknowledging me when I'm not able to be here much.

Sending wishes for a happy and peaceful day to all who read this message.

Take care all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @octavia I agree with @eth . It sounds exhausting. You're such a compassionate person so it's easier for you to let yourself get rundown by this.

Wishing you some love this Christmas amongst the stuff going on 💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Angels333 long time no see. I hope today is one of the best for you. Take care x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Merry Christmas to you today xx I am often quiet on the forums but I always read everyone's posts.

Today is a quiet day for Mr Angels and my teenage kids. We celebrated Christmas yesterday today we are packing for a holiday to QLD, we're leaving tomorrow.

Have a wonderful day 💙

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth yeah it is. It's a cycle. He missed his appointment at mental health 2 days ago. I can't monitor his meds he is an adult.but I feel like he's not taking them. I have asked him if he is. Only to get told what I think is lies. He is very disruptive this morning. Not a great start to the Christmas day. But here I am. Hope yours is filled with joy and love xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@octavia I hope you survived and that things did not deteriorate with your step son. Christmas can be a such a trigger.

Taking care of yourself can be hard when the pressure is on.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and good morning to all who pass here today. Hope it is a restful day of recovery for everyone. All I can say is thank goodness it's over! My brother and I (mostly me) have done all the cooking since my mum arrived on the 20th. And for yesterday we did 3 meals for 10 people. Advance planning was my saving grace - I organised things so that it only took me a little over an hour to finish my dishes yesterday morning.

Having mum here has not been without challenges but we've only hit one major glitch. Mainly because I've bitten my tongue loads of times! Can't even begin to describe what it's like with her staying here ... don't want to give my energy to the topic (another boundary decision). She leaves this afternoon and I go away tomorrow. Haven't even had a chance to pack and get organised for that since she's been here.

I'll be turning off my notifications while I'm away, and won't be on the forums at all until the 8th Jan. So I send you all my warmest wishes for a safe time til then with moments of joy and time for self-care. I'll be thinking of you all.

Thanks for the tags @Appleblossom @octavia @Angels333 @MDT @Sans911 @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Molliex @outlander @Judi9877 @Former-Member @Bimby2 @saturnzoon .

I will go read your posts now.

@Angels333 hope you have a fab holiday.

@octavia I feel for you. All I can say is it's time to make the call again by the sounds of things. What a shame your stepson has gone down hill again. Take care of you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Same to you @eth enjoy your time away 💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all ... @Angels333 @Appleblossom @octavia

Hi @eth thank you for your wishes for a restful recovery day. Well done to you for getting through the many challenges of having your Mum stay. I do hope your tongue recovers quickly from all that biting. 😜

Just wanted to send you my very best wishes for a lovely time away from tomorrow. And I look forward to having you around again when you return from the 8th January. Good idea to turn off notifications to ensure you have a complete break away. I will be thinking of you while you're away, and missing your input around the forums. I thank you for all the good that you do around here.

Now ... forget all about us here ... and really enjoy your break. Have a wonderful holiday.

Sherry

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I hope your time away is a good time for you my friend..

See you next year, 🙂
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