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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet sorry I missed your message yesterday.

Good morning to all who pass here today.

I went to a womens group all morning yesterday and a mental health group in the evening. Both are under the umbrella of the local disability alliance. I'm giving them a try out as I've spent years looking for support groups before moving here. They're both good so far.

And today I have support workers morning and afternoon - groceries for christmas and then water tai chi ... so I won't be here for long this morning. SW starts at 8.30 and I've been up since 5.15 so I could plan my menus and shopping list and do some chores. My mother arrives this evening (for a week) and I'm also cooking for the household at the end of the day.

Yesterday I had a call from the friends I'm going to visit and they are both dealing with serious health issues since last we spoke. One has shingles in her eye and face, the other has had a heart scare and spent the week in hospital. So our camping trip is cancelled. I'm just hoping they still feel ok about me staying for 10 days and that I can be a big support to them while I'm there.

There's also the Jetstar strikes to keep an eye on - so far my flights aren't affected but anything could happen in the meanwhile.

So my challenge is to stick to the plans I've made for what needs to be done when and not get too accelerated while there's hype all around me. Bro and I are taking care of most meals between now and boxing day and I've still got a couple of other comitments sunday and tuesday but am looking at those as most likely welcome time out from mum!

That's my rave for today.

Hope all here are well and have a smooth and peaceful day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

I've missed you for the morning, you'll be off getting the groceries for Christmas, good on you! I've had a little trouble getting off to sleep the past couple of nights & I've slept longer in the mornings because of it. Good luck with your Mum's arrival today, let's hope the visit starts well I hope your friends recover quickly & I'm sure they'll really appreciate your help, it's such a shame the camping can't happen, but so uplifting to hear how your willing to do whatever you can for them I can understand the strikes worrying you, I think that's one of the worst worries - one that you have no control over what-so-ever. I tend to think of those situations as 'all up to the Universe' - either your meant to get on that flight . . . or not? Are shingles contagious? I thought they were {from working in aged care}, I reckon you'll sort all that out 🙂 That's quite the challenge you've got, I really don't like this time of year, there's such a definite time-line to it! I'm going to my Sisters tomorrow, like usual it doesn't feel real - it doesn't feel like that's what's going to happen. I haven't gotten prepared in any way {apart from having a gift for the 2 youngest} I'll be making sour cream fudge & choc coated peanut butter balls for the xmas table. Then my Sister, her Husband & I are heading to my Daughters. My Daughter's an absolute wreck! She has so much stress, she's separated from her previous partner of 10 years {there were dramas - that involved Police & the youngest}, her 2 eldest daughters are teenagers & really being teenagers! The eldest returned home with her boyfriend, neither have any income & they are eating & smoking her out of house & home. The 2nd eldest recently became suicidal, making an attempt in front of my Daughter; it was mainly drug & alcohol related, but she's still not right & causing the household to be on eggshells. Her youngest is Autistic & has violent behaviors {hitting, biting, throwing hard objects etc. I confess I feel anxiety around him - he hurts!} The worst thing about all this is I can't do anything about it. My Daughter has always been my Universe . . . my Universe is falling apart & all I can do about it is end.

Sorry for getting a bit down, I know you'll understand, but I know you probably don't need it right now

Lots of love & admiration to you Eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That was a lot on yesterday @eth , and looking busy for a while for you.

I hope your mum being around is manageable.

Take care. 💜💜💜💜

@Exoplanet @Adge @TAB @Mazarita 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet sending you my warmest wishes and hope for you to get through the family gatherings peacefully xx

Thanks @Maggie hope you have some special moments in the next couple of weeks.

Take care to everyone reading this. Remember to self-care through the silly season xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs and calm chilled-out holiday vibes beaming out to everyone...

May your times be filled with warmth and laughter, quiet moments of contemplation, and a gentle gratitude for this wonderful gift of life that, though we may suffer, fills our hearts with hope...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Silenus !!! Always good to see you. Happy solstice! Warm vibes to you too my friend xx

Good morning and thanks for the tags @outlander @TAB @saturnzoon @Shaz51 @MDT @Meowmy and @octavia and hello also to anyone else reading this today. @Maggie @Exoplanet I see you've popped in too recently.

Well this is rare for me - 2am and I'm online. The new med I'm on for sleep is not working even tho' I'm taking the higher dose my psychiatrist said I could try. So I've just surrendered and taken a prn on top. Mum is here and I really need to be well rested to keep my wits about me.

So far I've cooked for everyone 3 times in 1 1/2 days. Made caponata for the first time for Mum's first night and it was sooo gooood even if I do say so myself. It's basically an Italian eggplant stew, and also has tomato, celery, olives, capers, orange zest, sultanas, onion, red capsicum, garlic, parsley, basil and pine nuts - @Maggie @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Adge you might like to try it (google the full recipe). ... can't remember who else is vego or vegan.

I also did a large frittata with leek, asparagus, silverbeet from our garden, peas,cheddar and fetta for last night. And a chilled cucumber soup for tomorrow's lunch which I'll serve with toasted olive bread.

Looking forward to bro doing the next couple of days food for all and going out for dinner on Monday night with him and mum.

And then there'll be prep cooking the day before and putting it all together on Christmas day.

It's funny how much we revolve around food when we come together at this time of year. But the truth is I love cooking different recipes to share with people, even love the planning phase - it's a hobby of mine.

I think today we will be going for a rural drive and possibly having 'high tea' at a small town inland from here.

So far I'm dealing ok with mum. She's said a few things that I would have risen to in the past and I've managed to take some breaths and let it pass. She's turning 80 this year and is not likely to change now, so I don't want to waste my energy on challenging her. But it's only day 1 out of 7 so I really know I need to keep boundaries in place.

Hoping you are all sleeping soundly and wake refreshed in the morning.

I will now try to respond individually to people's posts to me. Thinking of you all while I'm not around. Take care xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth this is nice having you up so early. @TAB is awake and so is @Alacarte :). Ugh! I know what it is like with mothers particularly as they get into their 80s they just lose it with their boundaries .... my mum has become such a snob it is so embarrassing

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth Your recipes sound great and I'm a carnivore 😉. Awesome food 🥘

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins hope I didn't miss you. I was posting elsewhere - on the SS thread. How did you go with your kids getting the news they wouldn't see their did over chrissy?

What's today looking like for you?

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