FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

23,891 - 23,900 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

okay sounds tough @Adge yes had vaguely heard that somewhere years ago re branches and whose they were and where they end up, but they're idiots and its upsetting for you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @TAB

Thanks @eth (from other thread).

I do need to "think outside the box" - I'm sure that there are other options, re: somehow moving to a better neighbourhood, etc. Despite having no energy, & major health issues.

It's just that in "survival mode" - earning only $400 per week, for past 12 months etc - I cannot see (figure out) the options (possibilities).

I just obstacles in the way.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

well maybe the challenge is how you see the problem @Adge ? not sure. I've had hardly any income since mid october,savings getting run down , keep telling self to think of options and end up nowhere, and no energy re moving house, ok no bad neighbours here anymore, just well why am I in this place if not working ? hmm

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like we have a lot in common (similar) @TAB Re: trying to motivate or come up with positive (new) options.

I've gone into arrears (over weekly income) by $20K over the past 18 months.

Just to pay basic expenses (baked beans & bills)- so not looking pretty, hard to stay positive about it...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yeah I maxed credit card, then paid it when homesaver scheme abolished(got access to money was trying to save for house depost) ppaid card off them maxed it again, I used to even put rent on it lol

Anyway, body and mind breaking down at work, so burning bridges plus not getting younger anyway looks like going to have to be working again soon somehow and thats not a Plan. thats survival . @Adge @Shaz51 am over here

anyway just getting a bit down finances worse than thought, dole application getting thwarted, its all getting a bit real, cos dole wont cover living expenses anyway thats just short term

a

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hearing how hard things are for you @Adge - when we feel stuck it's hard to see options for change. Feeling for you.

You too @TAB really hope the dole comes through and also that you find work you want asap.

Wondering if either of you has seen a financial counsellor at all. Pretty sure a lot of charities have them, as well as centrelink. Salvos, anglicare, catholicare - I've been down that road and it really helped me make a plan for change and stick to it. They can also get your interest on some debts stopped for a while with a lower payment plan for a period.

@Adge those charities also have counsellors to help with housing options. Especially when things are as bad as you describe with troublesome neighbours making you feel unsafe.

Just thinking out loud here, but want you both to know there is help available.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth had started down that path before re fin. counsellor think there might be one in town here. no income tho. perhaps seeing actual counsellor might help me get in mindset to get some casual work Anyway thanks

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No worries @TAB I always aim to help x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

23,891 - 23,900 of 27,230