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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia

yeah not so a good day today again. went to fruit and veg shop for some bannanas, handed staff $2 for a $1.10cent bunch of bananans, and what i got in return was all 10 cent pieces change. not happy at all as this was a sign of disrespect (i wasn't rude or disrepectful to her, so why should i be treated disrespectfully). I complained to store owner by email. hopefuly tommorrow the staff is fired. in fact, why am putting up a fight everyday ( im exhusted ), why take advantage of your position in life.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@opinions2019dec All those little bits of disrespecting add up and it is hard not to take them personally.

Hi @Gazza75

@octavia Glad you will be around for christmas. I like the company.

@eth Actually despite too many appointments packed in back to back I got a heap done. I just had to accept the vets time at last minute ... no choice re cat's meds ... only ... but as happens some times ... everything fell into place.... and I was actually early and not hassled or rushed.

I made one mistake and showed up at pdoc a month late, but he could see me, so it was fine. I had yesterday written in diary. The receptionist made a big thing out of trying to phone me last month and not being able to leave a message, and I let her off the hook nicely, but now that I think about it, she was really pushy at the timeof making the apointment and as I was trying to clarify, she was not listening just trying to push me out, she is a bit cocky and thinks she knows more than she knows. When dealing with MH people, thats not great, and I think its about stigma. Yesterday, she said to a tradie, in a greedy cheeky voice; "I am ready to take ya money" ... "If you are fiscal" ... I did not like it and he hesitated. Then she admitted that she did not ask very nicely and he paid up and she mouthed and chatted fiuriously winking and smiling at him. It annoys me as it was probably really tough for a bloke like that to face up to his issue and see a shrink ... dont rub his nose in it.

So now I am realising it was another situation where I took the blame for being late ( a month) and it was worker negligence. They had not bothered to contact schme (me ... cos of sane algorithm) at all in the month to check for no show or re schedule. THIS IS NOT A GOOD POLICY in mental health field. Just as well I am genuine and keep showing up "in my life: ... as BB says

NO SHOWS ought have some follow up. I am getting wiser and have decided to keep my workers honest. I feel I have 3 coroners reports backing me up, my ghosts wagging their fingers and saying ... keep the bastards honest. Less carry on in crisis management and more follow up ... will ... reduce the crises ... dur ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom anytime. I'm in a good place at the moment, and some of it is thanks to you guys, that have supported me through the bad days. It's my turn to give back to the community.

@opinions2019dec I can understand your level of frustration with disrespect, it does happen, everyday to everyone. It's how we conduct ourselves with that event. That's the most important part. You can't change them, but you can certainly change how you let it affect you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

G'day @eth ,

Great to hear your going on a trip 😄 If I read it right, your going after xmas . . . perfect timing, you'll need a break after all the kerfuffle {& a visit from your Mum!}.

I hope you take some photos & your able to put some on here 🙂 But most of all I hope you enjoy it, all of it, the seasonal maddness, the fear of joy, & that the experiences are good ones & lead you to getting out there again

Love to you Eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Appleblossom @octavia @opinions2019dec @Judi9877 @Gazza75 and anyone else floating around here today.

@Appleblossom that receptionist sounds like she's in the wrong line of work. Glad to hear pdoc was still able to see you.

@opinions2019dec things like store transactions going awry used to really aggravate me too, and frequently, so I do hear you, but I think I came to a time in life where I decided to choose my battles and not let that sort of stuff take so much of my energy. They don't deserve it, and our reacting to them is not likely to make them change. So these days I try to breathe my way through my reaction, respond rather than react, and walk away knowing they have lost a customer.

SNAP! @Exoplanet we posted at the same time. Thanks for your encouragement about my trip. A bit worried atm with Jetstar having strikes and really hoping my flights aren't affected as that's who I'm booked to fly with. How are things going for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth @Mazarita @Exoplanet @Appleblossom @opinions2019dec @Owlunar @Handouch @Shaz51 coffee time here. What are your plans for the day? We're about to wake our youngest up by sending the dogs in to lick his face lol. then heading out for the day to see the grandparents for brunch. By brunch we mean beers and wine lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia enjoy your day. I've no plans today other than to be over on the Saturday Soiree - all welcome!! thread on and off. May get into the garden for a while too. I really like my Saturdays with no plans coz I've been having really busy weekdays lately.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @octavia I'm so sorry.

That would be such a shock for you.

Just horrible.

Sorry I can't say or write much - I'm overwhelmed myself, which shuts-down my (text typing) communication abilities.

Hugs (((octavia)))

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What a tragedy @octavia Feeling for you. You must be in shock yourself. Take things gently for as long as it takes. I imagine there are all sorts of strong feelings for all the people involved. Take care xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth @TAB @MDT

Thanks.

Changing threads, because I don't want to take away from the Happy (light) nature of Saturday Soiree.

I've been here just over 17 years - that side neighbour has been aggressive & intimidatory, ever since I came here.

So it's a long-standing issue (hostile neighbours), now on the other side as well.

Mortgage, it's my own place (so far) - depending on divorce claims, when I ever tackle that.

Was my place, well before my marriage.

My neighbour owns her house, she is not moving anywhere - she is on DSP (disability pension).

Cannot afford to move, because I don't earn enough to pay any amount of rent (not even $50 per week) - came here to the poorest (cheapest) suburb, because it was the only place affordable (at that time).

So options are limited, & when stressed I cannot think of any (as at present).

I phoned the council (1st time for me) - very ambiguous confusing answer from switchboard person, which came as a shock.

The council person seemed to say that my neighbour can throw branches (from my shrubs over-hanging fence) over the fence, into my back yard - but that she is supposed to (or ideally should) discuss it with me first.

Which my neighbour did not, & won't do (obviously).

Sorry, I've run out of energy, can't think of or write any more.

Adge

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