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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope your able to speak to the nurses today @octavia and that the dr will be in on Monday. going out for lunch with your son sounds nice and im sure he will appreciate that too. hospital food is gross.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope your meet n greet on Tuesday goes well and that shes a good match for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@ethfull on going through that managing the process. I hope you can take your time so you get to know them. On the positive it sounds like you are doing all you can. I haven't had a chance to read right into it. Be gentle and kind 🙂 Have you ever heard of grow. They help building with the community if you are ready and they are around where you live .

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes thanks @Everan I've both been a member of and worked for GROW and sorry to say had some bad experiences with it that put me off for good. But thanks for thinking of me anyway. At this stage I'm involved with a community disability alliance that is fantastic and has special interest groups. And possibly even future training and employment with them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth Similar experiences (perhaps).

I was the organiser of a GROW group for 4 years.

I went originally for social support - I found it very limiting in that respect.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Adge good on both of us for giving grow a try, not every path works for every person. I was in a group where I used to live and the facilitator of the group was really bossy, always telling people what they needed and should do, when it's meant to be self-directed recovery. Also the whole 12 step higher power thing didn't really work for me. Then I became the secretary for the state I lived in and had to work under the same person. It was a disaster - I lasted 2 weeks. Plus she used to tell my legally blind child that they should trust people more .... I really jacked up about that after a while. It's a shame but that one person getting away with so much put me off the whole movement.

Loving your pictures as always. Did you see that one of the finches was made Australian bird of the year? The black throated finch (just looked it up). And the tawny frog mouth owl came 2nd. I love them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice @eth There are several black-throated finches, so I'm not sure which one. That's great, plus I love Tawny Frogmouths.

I just found the Gr 12-step program too inflexible, & most of the members too.

Good in principle (intention), does not work like that in practice.

Plus the friendships developed in the group - never extended beyond, into real life.

When I left, they all cut contact with me.

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