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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've already moaned too much about how I am today @Shaz51 - that might give you some idea! The less said the better...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ohhh @Mazarita, I should of came on here last night

mum said this morning I might of being overthinking all night maybe unconsciously being stressed

and even my MIL said on friday that all my aches and pains might be stress too

but last night I just could not get comfortable at all and was wide awake

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Stress can affect us very physically at times, @Shaz51. Anxiety could account for not being able to get comfortable all night. Having said that, I know that you have very real chronic illnesses that could also contribute a lot to it. Sometimes the mental, emotional and physical are all intertwined. Have you thought of perhaps finding a psychologist for yourself as well? Your GP could help you there if you were interested. They might be able to help you with relaxation, anxiety and stress reduction. Mainly to help with what you have to go through with Mr Shaz. It is a stressful situation in an ongoing way caring for someone with mental illness. Whatever you choose, dear Shaz, you have my kindest wishes.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @outlander

I tend to agree with @eth.

I keep on getting gastro......so does my son. I think that my son and me are cut of the same material and we both need down time.......It's very annoying to get like this over and over again.

@outlander this is something that has happened to me because I never ever took care of myself for years and years.

My youngest son has spent many years in and out of hospital foe his tumour. He never ever took care of himself and he's only 23 years old. I just wrote him a message saying:

Mr G and me would rather take you to the Doctor if you need to go. We are very proud of how you are managing your own life right not and we are right behind you as you keep on going.

So though we are very attentive on his condition, we want to encourage him to manage his own life as well.....

It's very sharpy pionty edge care.

Any feedback is always appreciated.........

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I agree @Mazarita

I have also been reading about CKD and depression too

Hello @PeppiPatty , my special friend

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I keep getting a lot of bowel and kidney infections @PeppiPatty xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes. I am right here. I'm going to the Doctor tomorrow x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good afternoon @PeppiPatty

yes down time is good, im getting that now. still on here and lsitening to music in peace which is rare,w ill have to go soon to do dinner and nightly chores but thats ok.

i aways thought it was selfish to look after myself and put myself first. these sort of habits are extremely hard to break an still do the same thing however im slowly learning to balance being able to look after others but still care for myself as well.

i do like your msg to your son, however if he asks you to come to an appointment with him then i would go with him. that would be his way of saying hes afraid and would like abit of support. learning to manage on your own is so hard, im learning it and having to do it quite quickly but i grew up extrmely fast so i have alot of those skills already there but its still hard. im so glad he has you and hubbys support. he is lucky and im proud of you coming from a daughter who doesnt have that support.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty, good to see you.

I don't have much to add to @outlander's great response to your letter to your son.

@outlander, it is soooo nice that you have some quiet time to yourself for a change.

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