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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope @utopia @Mazarita @Maggie @Shaz51 @Meowmy @eth I've had all day to think about it. tomorrow I'm making changes here. for our region, for the carers, for the patient. we clearly need a mental health facility here. if the wait list is so long. we need to do something. I will be calling the council tomorrow, the hospital, the man that has the money to change things in this town. it's not going to happen overnight. but I'm making sure this change happens

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @SleepyDad @Meowmy @utopia for the support. Today went better than anticipated which is a nice change.

I agree about going through learned movements repeatedly sleepydad - the tai chi is very much like that but because there's so much left/right brain stuff happening you can't think of anything outside the pool while you do it. Which is really good for me. Also helps with strength, mobility, balance and more.

Utopia I really hope you recover well from your surgery. I've heard gallbladder pain is some of the worst you can get so I imagine it's nice not to have that any more. But I guess you have to watch what you eat now.

@octavia it sounds totally outrageous that the hospital sent your step-son home so soon. Must put you under so much pressure again. And a breakthrough with him coming voluntarily the next day only to be turned away again. The system is broken when people so obviously in need of intervention fall through the gaps. Lots of expletives on your behalf here. Can you get him in to a psychiatrist at all? They might be able to convince the hospital to help him get clean and balanced out with the right meds. Unbfknlvble!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good on you @octavia ❣️

I am am speaking up where and as I can, and I am hoping to make a difference in regard to future directions somehow .... apart from helping others, it’s a way of bring validation and worth to the suffering and hardship we have all come through across many years.

Cheering you on here .... 🎉

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hope you have a nice evening. Take care.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all. Had a so so day. The council gave in and opened the old pool while waiting for the new one to be open so went there for a bit of exercise. Did 6 laps today. Then was in changing and started to panic in the change rooms feeling exposed. They are open with no doors except for the showers. So I was changing in there but felt a bit panicked because even though there is a lockable door I knew there were people outside. Eventually got there though.

So happy that I managed the swim, but a bit off with the panic. Had not been a problem before because I had not been having the attacks etc until a couple months ago, after I finished swimming last season. Guess I will adjust though.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good on you @octavia . We need more people in the world like you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and good morning @utopia @cutiepiekitty @Meowmy @Faith-and-Hope @octavia and anyone else passing here this morning. Sending warm wishes for today to be one of the better ones.

All I have on today is a support worker taking me to my psychology appointment this afternoon. Hoping we get to do some more of the EMDR work, lately my sessions with her have been taken up with present issues and they are good sessions, but I want to get through some more stuff about the past and how it still means I get triggered/flooded easily when I'm out and about.

@greenpea @Adge @Bimby2 @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @frog @Teej @Gazza75 @Hamsolo01 @TAB @Adge @Scarecrowe @Ant7 @octavia @saturnzoon @Exoplanet @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope @boot @Meowmy @Doglover @Queenie @Jacques @Dec @simontemplar @JosRapp @GieEuphoria @BlueBay @Angels333 @oceangirl @utopia @Snowie @Sans911 @cutiepiekitty @Judi9877 @eudemonism @Appleblossom @Maggie @Sherry @outlander @Molliex @SleepyDad @emg_1 @Maxi7

@Everan @Jenn4 @-pixie-

Sending warm welcomes also to some folk new to the forums @KayB @asdf @Mummabaa1 @Lwell @Lyra_reachout @Jaz5 @Juls5000

This is a thread where you can meet new people and socialise, but also perfectly ok to rave about whatever's going on for you, and hopefully find others who have common ground with you. If you want to reach a particular person type @ followed by their name - you will get a drop down box where you can click on their name.

Take care everyone, be gentle with yourselves today xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth have a good day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth and a wish for a
good day. All best wishes. Bimby2.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@utopia @Mazarita @Bimby2 @Meowmy @eth @Shaz51 I'm so so so silly. I forgot to look after my own mental health. after having to put my friend and step son in for treatment over the last 2 weeks. I've neglected myself. oh so silly. yesterday and today all I've done is cry. and it feels great. I've done a little bit more today than yesterday. I just want these emotions to pass, so I can rejoin the world again. any idea on how long it will take? or coping stratergies? I know I can't cry everyday, it just feels really good right now, I know i can't live in this dark place forever. I'm not suicidal. just emotionally drained. it's hit me hard. I need some guidance to get out of this place

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