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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Woo-hoo with the driving @eth 🎉

Still full on here, trying to get uni submissions completed under difficult circumstances .... but getting there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've been thinking of you a lot @Faith-and-Hope and I do think you're amazing to be dealing with the huge changes and still managing your academic requirements. Take care lovely xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

🌷 @eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Howdy @eth ,
Good luck with the driving lesson, I learned to drive in a small town and still found it too hectic for me to ever take a shine to it. Still it is very empowering to get independantly mobile even if I don't ever picture myself going for a drive just for the fun of it.

Water Thai-Chi sounds nice, I do martial arts as my regular exercise and can't imagine going without it. I think there is something soothing about going through learned motions, I imagine dancers and gymnasts feel something similar.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth have a good day. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope @eth @Shaz51 @Mazarita @Meowmy @SleepyDad and whoever else reads this. the mental health system is a joke. we have tried everything. I called an ambulance for my step son. on Sunday 10am, he did not go freely. holes in walls everywhere. they let him out at 10pm that night. they were supposed to keep him in there for a 72hr stay. to do a proper mental health assessment. we went and took him back yesterday of his own free will. today they tell us, it could be months before we get him into a proper mental health treatment program. the 3 of us are not happy. as a society we talk about mental health, we talk about reaching out when u need support. we did that, the door has been slammed in our face. proper mental health treatment does not exist in our region. you can talk about it all u want, but there is no immediate treatment for it. and that's the problem. that's why people go crazy.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@octavia sorry that it is hard for you. The world is cruel. We suffer so much living MI. Carer of MI sufferers get hard as well. Hope things turn put a bit better for you. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I found the same in regard to eating disorder concerns and the behavioural fallout from this @octavia ....,

All the literature and online advice reads “if you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, speak to your health professional”, but the reality for us is that when you are dealing with a seemingly functional adult who has no insight into their condition, there is actually nothing you can do except leave.

If threats exist over your situation as a control mechanism to retry to prevent you from leaving without life-changing consequences, unfortunately sometimes the “safer” option is to stay.

I understand why the regulations are in place that enable this sort of situation to continue, because in the past abuse occurred when family member could cause life-changing damage to people who weren’t u well by claiming they were and misrepresenting their behaviour, but that hasn’t helped us in the situation we are in.

The talk certainly sounds empty when these issues need to be addressed from both sides of the fence.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So hearing you @octavia . A very sad, true reality we struggle with. Sending these, 💜💜💜 though they are of no help at all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth . What a busy time you're having. Good on you for being on top of everything. Very organised.

I'm not doing much. Just recovering from my gallbladder surgery. So I have 4 keyhole cuts that are trying to heal. Not much pain, just a few aches everyday.

Have had to have stomach injections again for a blood thinner. So my stomach looks like a battleground of dressings and bruises.

It's cold in the mornings and evenings again here in country Victoria. So strange to have air-conditioning on and then a few days later the heater.

I'm well and traveling okay at the moment. Fingers crossed that the remission keeps lasting.

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