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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom the superannuation arrangements sound potentially complicated to me. I don't have any, so don't really know how it works, but surely your super should be just that - yours. I do hope things work out really well for your son and you with the new situation.

The driving lesson went well overall. Lots of small details and the need to apply them all at the same time had me almost swamped but I managed. Just freaked a little when in the last 10 minutes he had me drive on 2 much busier roads to bring us home. There's no way I had anticipated driving on our busy road so soon. Just left lane and left turn at traffic lights, but it was a big leap from what we had been doing in a very quiet area. I got through it without obviously spinning out, but had a lot of big feelings hit the surface after he left. Glad my support worker was with me and will take her again next time for sure.

One thing we talked about was what he called 'intention anxiety' where the body response to it is to reduce peripheral awareness and even vision. It was reassuring that he understood it and explained it to me in a way that made total sense. I think it's one of the major challenges to overcome in order to drive independently again.

Thanks again for the support to all who gave it. Can't remember who to tag, it's been a big day as I had two other things on after the driving. Have napped since getting home.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad your driving lesson went well.

@eth

Your post gave me a little think about, in my own stress stryle etc.

Cheers

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @eth , @Appleblossom , @CheerBear , @Maggie

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

What a star you are. Well done. You have been and proven you can. Its still going to be a struggle and a huge challenge. You realky did prepare for this lesson well. Your instructor sound like they are a tru teacher. Keep up the great work.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ok guys having a rant. had to admit my husband's best friend into hospital today. his immune system is so weak, he can't fight off shingles. it's attacking his brain cells. it's made him to the state that he can't do daily function. he wasn't eating, sleeping, couldn't even drive, he can't remember days. he still thinks it's last Wednesday. the other scary situation is my step son, he does similar actions to this. he doesn't eat, sleep, and misses days. I've really tried to push him back into psycologist appointments. but his mother has got him into a private one, that gives him all meds he needs. without treating the problem. basically I have so much going on. I don't know what to think, what to do, or how to do it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Maxi7 @octavia and anyone else here today. Thanks again to the people who supported me about the driving, you know who you are.

@octavia I wish I had some suggestions for you but I'm not finding words easily today. Don't forget to take care of you too admidst all the care for others.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Gazza75 I've read your posts on another thread about how you are struggling a bit with the weight and fitness efforts you make not getting results. I've been on psych meds that cause weight gain for years now and gained steadily most of that time, finding it impossible to lose. But stayed compliant with the meds because I have to prioritise my MH and they do keep me more stable than I've ever been. My sugar levels and insulin get tested every few months and eventually reached the stage that my Dr said I was 'pre-pre-diabetic'. Some of the meds also change how your body stores fat vs. carbohydrates. Anyway I've now been put on a med that reduces insulin response and have managed to lose just a little bit so far, but heading in the right direction at last. Perhaps you could ask about something like that when you see your doctor.

Take care and hope you have a better day today x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wel, done @eth , I m so glad your first driving lesson went well and you have a great driving teacher who understands about anxiety as well, the first one is always the hardest cause you don't know what to expect.

@octavia sorry to hear about your friend, I hope he can get the help that he needs, and take care of yourself as well especially in hard times we usually forget about ourselves when helping others.

@Mazarita @Maxi7 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom have a nice safe day.

My day has not started well,I keep picking the wrong decisions when I have to make one, I stuff up on things I do at home,m memory is really getting to me cause I get appointments wrong even when I put everything in my phone I still put the wrong day or time, been crying this morning cause I stuffed up majorly with my money and didn't click to what I was doing whi h I should have known. My worker cancelled today as she's sick. I'm sick of this life and just destroying everything I try.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @eth 🙂

I'm not getting worse lately which is a win of sorts I guess.

I need to get busy finding another GP, mine won't help Me with much.

Thanks for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it and has given me some stuff to think about.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No worries @Gazza75 Hope the info is helpful. Be aware that the forums have strict guidelines about conversations regarding weight - we can't be too specific about it, hence the wording of my post. It's a tricky one because so many of us need help with it x

@saturnzoon sorry to hear you are struggling today. I find that no matter how good smart phones are meant to be for keeping track of things, I just have to have a week to a page good old fashioned paper diary. Plus keep all receipts and a note of any on-line purchases and check of a good old fashioned paper statement too. I just can't stay on track trying to do those things electronically. Maybe similar systems could make things work better for you too ... ? Just suggestions, not telling you what to do.

Hope things start to feel better for you over the day. Take care x

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