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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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@Bunniekins @Former-Member Should I try this?....

Adge

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Re: A long rave

No @Adge, but it's cute lol

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@Adge Awww that is adorable and couldnt hurt :Dxx

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👋 all

A special hi to @Mazarita. Not sure if you're still getting notifications but I'll cross fingers. I've been thinking of heaps, hoping you're doing well. Mega love ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Ask yourself whats the key to breaking the cycles

Was it recognition, a conscious thing?

Self care meditation, exercise, creative hobbies, gardening, singing, taking complete time out to do nothing but observe how u feel.

Writing lists of what u want, a safe home, friends i can trust, a support person i resonate with, a medical team i have faith in

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all. Hope it's starting positively for everyone here and has some promise in it. May it be one of the better ones. @Former-Member @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @Angels333 @MDT @Maggie @outlander @Gazza75 @Sans911 @Former-Member @cutiepiekitty @oceangirl @Zoe7 @simontemplar @Adge @Meowmy and anyone else passing by.

Hi @Former-Member Sounds like your weekend was pretty nice - yes going to the beach in northern climes is a whole other thing - I lived up in the top end near Darwin for 16 years before moving here to the Hunter region. 2 1/2 years here now and the water is still too cold for me! But the surf is beautiful and it's great to be able to hang out on the beach, walk at the waters edge etc without the fear of crocodiles like there are everywhere where I was before. Plus down here there is no stinger season, which you might still have where you are now. In the tropics it's definitely easier to function efficiently if you live like a Mexican i.e. get all your chores done either early in the day or in the evening when it cools down, and really conserve energy and even nap if you can during the peak heat times. I managed to live up there without using my air conditioner more than a few days a year. I do believe in acclimatising to where you live as much as possible.

Thanks for all your suggestions - we must think alike because everything you mention is already on my list! It's great to see you also have a wide variety of self-nurturing activities. That really makes a difference to the worse days and getting through difficult times - as I say, often it's one hour at a time, not even one day.

Hope your week shapes up well for you.

Hope you had a lovely walk @Bunniekins One of these days I'll feel safe enough to start walking alone again. I don't know anyone local to go with.

@cutiepiekitty well done writing and sending your letter. If you don't get a timely response to it I would forward a copy of it to the CEO as well. With my support organisation these days I compose my emails with my support worker and she then forwards it to both my coordinator of supports and the manager of the office. Since things have been going to the manager as well I am getting much more rapid action from the coordinator, and also having my needs met better by the support worker's team leader. And there is also a paper trail. I hate that I have to have a strategy to deal with all this and the feeling that they have some power over my life, despite the fact that ultimately I am a customer and their organisation wouldn't survive without customers.

@Faith-and-Hope I really hope things went ok for Mr yesterday and that any news means him getting more responsible for his lifestyle and thus some relief for you. You certainly deserve some relief. Hope uni is going well for you.

LOL @Adge I love your pictures. Especially the one about practising kisses! When I was about 12 I used to pash a poster of Les from the Bay City Rollers!!!!! How's that for a confession ?!

Hi @outlander really hope your pain has settled down and you're starting to feel like recovery is happening. And some relief now that it's been dealt with.

Cheers everyone and take care.

Another day at home for me and finally starting to feel a bit refreshed from so much rest since the kids left. Plus the back pain I had from so much baby lifting (about 20kg now) has settled down to , which helps a lot. Caught up on chores yesterday so today will hope to get banking done and perhaps some bridge practice. Feeling organised for the presentation about recognition and recovery from abuse with the womens group on Thursday. The guest speaker we had organised has cancelled so I'll be presenting for longer, but that feels ok. I'm condensing an 8 week course I did into 1 1/2 hour presentation - quite a challenge. And also going to stress to the group that the session is about education, not therapy. Will give referral information to them at the end of the session and do a relaxation and grounding exercise to close. One of the challenges of doing it is that about half the group are low vision or blind, so I can't just hand out photocopied diagrams etc. Not sure of the best way to deal with that but have asked for advice from the group about what they need.
This feels like another major step into peer support work and I really hope I handle it well on the day. Lots of potential for nerves etc which is why I'm trying to be really organised in advance.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth

Apparently the tests came back clear on the issue he went in with - I heard from one of the kids. He is barely communicating with me. We had words yesterday over something he had done that was inappropriate and upsetting, so this is his response.

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@eth have a good day.

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Hi @Faith-and-Hope so sorry to hear about conflict and a total breakdown in effective communication between you. You amaze me with the way you soldier on through it all. You have the patience of a saint. Talking to the kids and not to you is really not acceptable. Not wishing ill on him, but a diagnosis would at least go some way towards him facing up and dealing with his issues. Just my opinion, hope you don't mind. I totally support you with all you have on your plate. Take care lovely xx

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