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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member and others. Went away and took something for headache as was starting to head towards migraine level which makes thinking worse. They have kicked in a bit now. Also using TENS machine to release some tightness. Still waiting to see if I hear from B but not going to hold my breath. Thinking that the show Fri may be good. Had a little look at what is on and should be quite a bit of free stuff. Perhaps that will take my mind off things for a couple hours. Can always go in and spend time with the pigs, chooks and alpacas in the cuddly animal area.

The tabs I took also have a bit of a calming effect so I am a bit better just now. Probably was just the initial shock of finding that I had been cut off so suddenly. At least I am not crying at the moment.

Thanks all for the support. Since I found this place I have for the first time found somewhere I am not judged, am understood and accepted fully for what I am without pressure. Thanks.

I have a friend still checking me 1-2 times a day since last Thurs. She has informed me that I am to go to hers on Sat and she is going to feed me again! That is her way of looking after people. And I know that I can cry in front of her and her husband. She had trouble a couple years ago so he is used to it and she kind of understands. Will be going to morning tea with the craft ladies tomorrow. A bit apprehensive after last week, but if I do not go back right away I will feel awkward. Have seen several of them during the week and they are not blaming me, a couple have asked what was going on. Just said I had a panic attack. Have given a very small number of friends I trust (about 6) a oage with what they can do that helps me during them...... hold me, talk to me, hold my hand, give me monkey, get the container of mints from my bag and give me one (extra strong, the bite seems to bring me back to the present), then just be there. If only everyone was as good at supporting. Especially so-called professionals lately!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty You have done some things for yourself that seems to have really helped and that is good to hear. It does often take a while for news such as that you got his morning to sink in - especially when you know you need the support sooner rather than later. Having some things to look forward to is great too - gives you a purpose and distraction as well. I love hearing that you have such a supportive friend - having someone there for you, checking in and wanting to be there for you is wonderful. It sounds like you can reach out to her too if needed so you do not have to feel alone in all this. I am also super impressed that you have told a few people what you need when you have a panic attack - they can be so debilitating so having people around you that recognise what is happening for you and can help is wonderful. I hope you get to the group tomorrow and feel a little better for doing it. Hugs Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 After an attack one day at church and the one at craft I thought that it was better for me to have some people that know how to help for my benefit and also because a couple said that it scared them seeing me go into it. At least it means they can explain to others it is not dangerous. I did not know and had not read anywhere that there are physical signs until one of the girls told me she saw me going into it. Apparently both my legs jump, my hands shake, and then the panic and tears get bad. With the restless legs one leg goes constantly, but shee said she has never seen both go at once before.

I feel better knowing that I will have someone at places I am regular that can recognise what is happening and what to do.

Tomorrow I will get coffee then going in with others to pack "blessing bags" for some primary girls coming to an event we have in a couple weeks. That should keep me occupied and under control for a couple hours at least.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 I wish you all the best for your appointment tomorrow with your psychiatrist. I hope they help you with what you need and happy that the current meds are beginning to work - it has taken a few weeks to get to this point but good thst you are noticing some changes within yourself now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 , I really do hope my behaviors improve. I'll be brutally honest with my Psychiatrist tomorrow as to how bad it's been.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I used to shake quite badly too when my anxiety was at it's worst @cutiepiekitty so I know a little what it is like. It is great you have people know what is happening for you and what they can do to help - that breaks down barriers as well as them being able to support you - they sound like really nice and understanding people

Getting out and doing something for others will not only be a good distraction but give you a personal sense of achievement

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 exactly. I think that if I keep busy it will stop me from ruminating too much on being let down and stop me going back to bad things. Also hopefully it will wear me out so I sleep! The girls days will definitely be wearing....all day Sat with up to 35 girls from 9-12. Sunday after church another group of up to 35 from 6-9. And the decorating and setting up Friday. I always suffer for the week or so after but I love treating the girls to a girly day so think it is worth it. We have done it for about 6 or 7 years now every year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think that is a really wise move @Angels333 Our supports need to know exactly how we are in order to help us - there is no point brushing it under the carpet as then we are the only ones that suffer.

@cutiepiekitty It sounds like a very worthwhile project to be involved in Hon - both for you and the girls - gret that you can be part of that.

Going to head back out to the garage before I lose too much light - catch you both later

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Enjoy @Zoe7 . We are all doing messaging to get everything organised for the days. Love the way so many ladies want to spoil girls. I look at it as giving to them some of what I always craved and never got. Going to get back to my DP and try to do a little of it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

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