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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hope tomorrow goes ok @Angels333 and that you get that much needed help
hugs to you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

Firstly u did all the right things.

Sounds a total mess to me!

So many arent aware how much we open up & how god damn hard that is to do over & over again.

Yes they should have told you because your a person that trusted them.

Sounds like youve already tried getting this sorted & getting more appts.

You are looking at other options in your head already thats possibly good.

Your not alone tho keep speaking out.

When i felt i couldnt see anyone due to trust issues i decided to write down what happened.

I picked one trauma each day & i wrote what happened out. Was very painful. Had to stop a lot & cry. Other times ph a crisis no tho i felt it brought clarity to what happened.

Its a slow process but at least it doesnt involve anyone else. You dont need an appt to do it.

I think the logical side of our brain kicks in to help the emotional side.

Writing is amazing therapy if u can do it.

Its another way to take charge.

Sounds like your brain is trying to take charge of this situation thats NOT your fault.

You need to keep telling yourself its not your fault.

The shock of this news has naturally upset you so you possibly need to just rest up for today. After you sleep you can take charge again tomorrow.

Its all about making choices that feel right to you

You can wait or you can find someone else etc

But now accept that its feeling hurtful cause its not what you expected at all.

A huge setback im sure.

You need to just get thru today knowing this wasnt your fault. Yes youve trusted & once again been let down thats very true.

The power of choice has to come back to you with time.

Wish i could hug u as i sense your complete confusion & frustration over this

Keep in touch with anyone til your emotions start to settle

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Former-Member xx it is tough atm

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Former-Member Have just gone into total panic mode and cannot do anything. It just keeps going through my mind that I have done something that has led to them dropping me. Everyone that should help me betrays me. I can't help thinking it must be me because it happens every time and has all my life. It is as if I am somehow telling everyone I am not worth it.

I have not been sleeping well. Only got 2-3 hours last night. Have been having nightmares and flashbacks when I try. Been reliving what I started to bring up with B and it is just so painful. Took me til the 3rd time to start and that now looks as if it was my final appt. If only she would ring and tell me what I did to get dropped so suddenly and have to wait so long. The appt they offered me and put me down for to start again is the same timeslot that she had me in for those appts. Sounds as if she has given my times to someone else already.

What would have happened if I had turned up in 2 weeks when she is due again and she had someone else there? Would she have just ignored me or told me to go? My head is just spinning with these sorts of thoughts and trying to come up with reasons that she might have decided to drop me. It is aching with the stuff going on. Feel like I need to get out somewhere but don't know where to go.

Have got a ticket to go to the city on Friday but don't know if I will be able to manage it. Don't know what I will do. The show is on, but I do not feel that I could enjoy anything while I am in this state and not knowing when or if I can get help. If I manage to get myself there I suppose I could go to the animal pavillions. Animals often help me because they do not judge and generally I can find some to cuddle and love. At the local one I sat cuddling 2 lizards and a snake even. In Perth there are a lot more different animals. If only I manage to get myself moving to get there! It would be a very early start and a long day, but with my bug I don't have to worry about getting around. I can't walk very far. That is another thing that is bugging me, when I want to do something I often can't physically.

I might end up having to try to find somewhere online that may be able to help me sort the head out today. Can't use phone ones because out of credit. Just so mixed up after being dropped so suddenly and without any contact at all. Don't really expect that B will bother to ring after that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333

Yeah i can tell

Youre not giving up tho

Youre speaking out

Your ph to sort this out

You are taking control little by little

If youve done all you can go take a bath with a tablespoon of salt.

Its one thing i had to do a lot to help calm me. Its something with the salt that grounds you.

When u get emotional you seem to get light headed/ungrounded. People call it different things.

Water is extremely calming tho as im finding with going to aqua.

Today is a bad day for u so be gentle on yourself to get thru

Fingers crossed they get back to you

Thatd be a huge bonus

Theres gotta be some reason why this has happened.

You are going to get thru this tho

Hang in there hey

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty I completely agree with what @Former-Member said. Some excellent advice.

In the meantime I'm hoping your psychologist can call you and offer you an earlier appointment. That would be the best case scenario, that it was a mistake somewhere and hopefully it can be fixed. I understand as I've just had to wait 5 weeks between appointments as my psychologist canceled due to a family funeral.

I'm trying to think of ways you can cope with your anxiety right now, maybe have a shower or take your gopher out for a ride, sending hugs

(((💕💕💕)))

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

Try not to think about tomorrow as today is whats unsettling you.

Is it possible to go & have a bath? The water will help calm you down.

I was told yrs ago to put a tablespoon of salt in the water. It really did work.

Something about the salt water that helps clear your head. Why the beach is a great healer.

Im not able to mention anything re meds but you really need your sleep. Its the best way for your total body to recgarge. Im on a strong mood stabilizer that bombs me out or i get worse each day with no sleep.

Maybe this needs to be addressed??

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 The appt they could give would mean 9 weeks in between. Definitely too long for me at this stage. I had told the people that put me on to her that she seemed a good fit. Now I no longer think so if she is going to do this. Might have to let them know it was a bad idea. I am not sure if I would be safe to go out the way I am feeling. With my head aching my fear is that I may get dizzy. I have trouble with unstable bp among all the rest.

At the moment I am laying in bed with monkey trying to see if I can find somewhere online that might be able to help, but so far no luck. Either they are closed or all the other ones I seem to be finding are for drugs, alcohol, or currently in dv situations. None of them are any good to me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Can't have a bath as cannot get in and out of it. I have a sleeping med I can take but I do not like it. Feel really bad the next day, and does not always work.

If only I could turn these stupid thoughts off. Just feel so betrayed atm. If only I knew who made the decision and why

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

Maybe let it go just for today

Some days just dont flow. Nothing works nothing goes right.

Theyre just days that no matter how hard u try to get something happening it just doesnt happen.

Maybe today is one of those ones for you.

Try to accept youve done all you can for today & let it go for now.

U just need to be in the now for today.

Come back into your home look at whats in front of you. Bring yourself back to where u r just for today.

Youre safe for today.

You dont have to go out anywhere for now

Make use of what u have inside

Shower bath bed tv animals drinking water

Sitting staring at an open fire place works too.

Really deep breathing too. People used to get me to take 3 really long deep breaths cause i used to get so light headed ungrounded & emotional

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