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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I read so many of your caring, encouraging posts to so many of us. So I’m sending some caring encouragement back your way.Thank you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

@eth

@Zoe7

@Doglover

@MDT

@Gazza75

@outlander

@saturnzoon

@Appleblossom

I just got told if u turn off your hot water power at the power board at night then turn it back on in am then u can reduce your elec bill up to half.

Another tried it & it works so im going to do it.

Heck im in nth qld only have 2 showers late in day & only do dishes once a wk lol.

I hardly use hot water here.

Im trying to learn ways of managing my $ as best as i can .

Im also involved in a smith family supersavings scheme.

Ive opened a bank acct for my son. I put in $500 & in a yr they give me $500. Its a way for me to buy new equipment for my son going into highschool.

Spread the word to help those on low incomes

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You can also turn your temperture on the hot water down by a few degrees and that will save even more power @Former-Member The higher it is set the longer it takes to heat so reducing the temp allows it to heat to that temp quicker.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon

I am hoping you got to sleep with your night medication and your pain medication - a fall does shake us up

I am so glad your grandson helped you up but your son that is supposed to be a carer - your carer - is certainly not on board with the carer's role and you must be so disappointed. I take it that with your grandson's help you were able to get up and get into bed and pain is something hard to take but harder would be your son's attitude

It is a sad thing and I am sorry this happened and hope you are okay today - I hope there's nothing broken - and I feel angry for your sake about that son -

Sending my best thoughts

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you everyone, I have bruised my left knee and my arm, it hurts to walk so taken pain killers to help.

@eth @Gazza75 I will buy that cream and try it as I have Voltaren cream but it does nothing. I've told the boys it hurts when I walk so I will need there help.

@Gazza75 I hope you find the picture frame for your diamond painting it will look amazing

@eth I would love to do that Tia chi in a heated pool,I have tried Tia chi before but found it hard and trouble with my knees, but doing it in water I think would be great.

@Maggie @Mazarita @cutiepiekitty @Adge @CheerBear @MDT @Bunniekins

@Maggie your picture of the flowers are beautiful.

@Adge I hope you are feeling a bit better, it will take a while but we are all hear for you whenever you need.

I try with my son2 and ask him to do things like cleaning the kitchen, bathroom and he says yeah he'll do it later which never happens and he got shitty this morning cause I had to wash everything up yesterday as there were no clean plates, cups cutlery, but I have trouble seeing things properly and don't wash up properly that why I ask him to do it.

There's other things I ask him but have to keep going on about 3 times a day and then he cracks it, he gets angry with me, cause I keep asking him the same thing. When he starts getting angry, that's when I back away and go in my bedroom I can't handle conflict and can't say things properly and I am scared of him when he's mad, it's always verbally he says things.

Part of my MH is trying to stick up for myself , not get scared of people when they go off I have done so many different groups on these things over 15 yrs now and none work. I try to fight back but I just get panic attacks and anxiety flares up.

I wanted my daughter to be my career but she went interstate so my son was the only other person I have.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, I used to turn my hot water off all the time, I'd get 2-3 days of hot water coming out anyway. It's pretty easy to do through the summer. It definitely helped saved money off my electric bill, I think the hot water system really does chew through it. In my own place I got a very small hot water system rather than a larger one, the hot water is nearly boiling and I figure it's got to be saving money as its not heating nearly as much water as a normal one.

That's a great idea with the Smith family and way to help your son! 🙂 Good stuff. Thanks for sharing with us.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @saturnzoon , I have left it at the shop and it will be about a month. I don't think I'll be getting more done professionally, but, I think this first one is worth the cost as I'll give it to my mum. It will good to have protected as she keeps running her hands over it like a blind person reading brail! It's going to be a white frame with a 7cm mat around it to highlight the picture. I was going to get a smaller one, but, the guy convinced me not to. He had a heap on display and the ones with a large are for the mat did look good.

Are you on the NDIS? Maybe you can look at that and getting a proper carer into help support you? You deserve better care than what your son is providing. I know it can be a diffucult process, but, it might be worth it in the long run.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Gazza75

Your welcome

Spread the word if u know people r struggling.

Yes a smaller hot water system is the go if theres only 1-2 people especially in nth qld.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7

Yeah i was just thinking that before reading ur message

Ta

Im sure its set high.

Aircon was freezing too when i moved in here also cause its missing the dial so i got a tool & have adjusted it.

U dont need it freezing cold hey

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member,I will, maybe someone or one of the community guides can post the info on the carers forum as well. I'm sure lots of people there would find the information useful as well. The cost of elcetricity is so high, especially in rural areas.

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