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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for that @Zoe7 Good to hear I am not alone. I always have trouble with self care doing anything but the basics. Should get my nails done.....it has been 4 weeks and they are growing out. Will try to get myself convinced to get it done some time this week. The girls tht I go to for them are really good, and I think the physical touch when they do it is as important as the end result. Last time they finished with a hand massage, which is normally extra, and the owner has said she considers me a friend now so goes and buys me a cappuccino when I go in. Only some chosen people get that service there, and I am so thankful that she thinks enough of me to do it.

And I know I am very very lucky to have P to help me out where she can. She has cared for me better than anyone I can remember, the closest would be my nana.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @Meowmy It has been such a long road but there have been many, many people here that have held my hand, kept my head above water and continued to both encourage me and hold out hope when I had none - without the support of those people here on the forum I would not be here either - so anytime I can help out someone else that has been or is in a similar position I am happy to do so - give a little back to the place that has given me so much.

@cutiepiekitty It sounds like this person at the nail salon sees your worth and I suspect you have a very likeable and carng soul ...and that is evident to them too. As you said - it is not everyone they do that for but it is your character and yourself that they have been attracted to so hold that close as a real positive Hon.

I had a grandmother like that too - she was my best friend. We only had one disagreement in my whole life and that was when she said she didn't want to live anymore - I was flattened by that and raised my voice to her - then burst into tears. She was very unwell at this stage though and in pain so I can fully understand her feelings and that it was me that she said it to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 My nana is the only family member I can say I ever remember liking at all.

G at the nail place is Vietnamese. She is a really good person. And she carefully vets her staff. If they are not nice to someone or do not behave they are gone. I suppose she must see something in me. She is very patient and kind when I leave the gopher outside and slowly make my way in.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is really lovely that she is so patient and kind @cutiepiekitty and you have made that connection with her. I have met a couple of people with similar attributes that work in Woolworths and the local petrol station. They are always very kind and ask me how I am - and want to know the answer. They have both said how far I seem to have come so that is a pretty good indication that it was obvious that I was not well. The last time I saw the woman at Woolworths she came around from the checkout to give me a hug and say how much better I was looking. It is those little things in the bigger scheme of things that do make a difference.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I have a couple of the girls in Aldi andat the cafe I like that are like that. My neighbour actually told me the other day when she came for somemulberries that I am looking better than I have for a while, even though I don't feel it. So I suppose that I must be going in the right direction slowly

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well I will say goodnight all now and try to concentrate on the TV. It is 7 and I am so exhausted. Maybe I can get my brain to settle so I can sleep. I will try anyway.

Thank you all for your support and help. I really appreciate it.Helps me know I am not so alone and that there are people that understand.

Caatch you all later

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Others can often see what we can't when we have been down that dark hole for so long @cutiepiekitty Hearing and believing it for ourselves is another matter though - and exhaustion from not sleeping would not be helping.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 hey good morning, Zoe, hope you will have a good day. It's so hard that you came through. It's an amazing story. Hope things go okay from now. I have been similar path with MI and very difficult relationship with late father. Hope we can support each other through journeys ahead. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 @cutiepiekitty @Meowmy @Adge and anyone else around today. Hope the morning is gentle and the day has some hope in it. Lovely to see the care, support and eloquent sharing here lately.

@Breeze this is the thread I mentioned.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth hey good morning, hope your day go well. I am at work, just started

Take care.

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