FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

22,741 - 22,750 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Understand totally. As yet I have not got the skills to be able to stop the nightmares or flashbacks. Hoping B can give me some ideas. I am thinking I may need to get my meds increased, as I am on what they said was a low starting dose. But I don't know about asking. Will see what happens

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It took us nearly two years to get the right meds and dosages to get any relief @cutiepiekitty It was a really long process but the relief when we finally got a combination that worked was life changing. I honestly did not think that day would ever come but it did and I am grateful to my GP and pdoc for the care they gave me, the support and the knowledge to keep working at what was best for me. I hope you can get that same relief soon yourself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I have only been on them about 2 1/2 months. My anxiety, panic depression feel as if they are not as bad, but I feel they could be more controlled. Times when there is uncertainty is definitely a lot worse like waiting for appts like now. I keep getting told it geets a bit easier but I am still way too early in my journey after locking everything in for so many years for it to really have much feeling of moving ahead. I still feel as if I am going backwards after just starting to crack open the lid a bit and start to let a little of the hurt and trouble start to get out. I feel that I am safe with B so I am starting to let a few bits out. The first time I never let her know anything. All she got were the basic statistical things and not much else. I do not know if I said or did something to let her pick up that there was a lot hidden that I was not letting out or if she just uses the same sort of techniques with everyone but the second time she managed to start the release. I can't even remember how she did it, just that I burst into tears and told her I do not know how to trust because of the past. We did not bring a huge lot out then. Last time, the 3rd appt, we spoke about only one early incident. That has been playing on my mind ever since and I am having trouble quietening it. I know I have a lot more to deal with. This was an incident that I can remember from about the age of 3.

I showed a friend a picture of me from kindy when I was about 4 and she immediately asked why I looked so mad and haunted. I had never noticed before that my hands were in tight fists and she covered all of my face but the eyes and they were just so sad. Not like a child at all. I am going to show that to B and see if she sees the same or not.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 A friend that had grabbed and hugged me during my attack on Thurs that helped so much (another held my hand really tight, a couple of them spoke softly, and and another when I was getting over it bought me coffee and chocolate) today came up and sat by me at church and handed me a booklet that says it is mental health client stories. Have not read it, but each page asks them to tell their mental health care experience, what it meant to them and any improvements. There is only 7 in it, but I will have a look at it when I feel able to. Maybe I can get things from it. Obviously it has not got names or identifiers, but it is people that have dealt with local services so it should be relevant.

She also gave me something with an article that is titled Negative Mind. She asked if it was how I felt, and it was exact. All she could saw was "Wow, how do you cope with it?" It is an anonymous thing from a mental health newsletter. Don't know where she got it or where it came from. Obviously as well as having the insight to come and grab me to bring me back she has gone to look for something to try and understand. I have never had anyone near me try to understand ANYTHING about me before! I feel so grateful for it, but don't know how to react to it. I love her foresight. I told her I wished she was my mum. I have so much that I missed out on and really wish I knew about.

I know there would be others the same as me, but I find it hard understanding that there are other families so abusive and bad.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Meowmy I hope you have a really good evening.

You too @cutiepiekitty

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Angels333 I did enjoy them, they're all gone now....

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think all that you are going through is quite natural @cutiepiekitty It takes time to put any trust in our supports but once we have that it is gold. When trust is a major issue in our lives finding that often comes out of the blue. That was the same with my GP, psych and pdoc and a lot of that is down to my GP who put in al the ground work to find the best people for me. She made many calls and talked to people to see what the best fit would be for me - none of that I could have done myself at that stage. I did get lucky with my psych though as I was supposed to see someone else but she was unavailable for some time and when my GP explained how bad I was they talked to the owner of the practice and she got me in to see her within a cuople of days. From that point on she would make appointments 2-3 times a week in her lunch break to fit me in (I also had her number to call anytime of the day or night). I would then see my GP afterwards and the days I did not see my GP she would ring me to check in. It really was amazing support.

Much like you no-one knew much to begin with. I couldnt verbalise anything so wrote a few things down. A lot of the work I did with the psych was her picking up on things too and working through it with questions that I could nod or shake my head at - that is all I could manage. She is also very aware that there is a lot more but I may never be able to talk about any of it - and that is okay. Bringing up the past was re-traumatising for me and my GP and pdoc made the decision on my behalf to stop that therapy - it was increasing my SI - especially after those sessions and I was not safe for days afterwards. It is only by luck that I am still here really.

This has been part of my journey so I do very much get how hard it is to both talk and to trust ...but it seems like you have found the right person for you to guide you through this. It is not easy - that is for sure but with the right support, meds and therapy it is possible. ...but it really is a marathon and not a sprint (wish it was) but that is the reality. Go easy on yourself as much as you can - plan self-care and know that you have people in your corner supporting you through.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Adge Going to try to watch Paddington 2 with my monkey. Starts in about half an hour and finishes just after half eight so then might try to settle. Not doing well at doing anything, mind ntot settled and restless legs refuse to stop tonight

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty Unfortnately there are many families and children in this world that have had an extremely abusive background. I think it is hard for us to reconcile more in the hope that it doesn't happen rather than in the realisation that it does because then we have a much darker view on the world as a whole. You are not alone in you pain and certainly not alone in your journey.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 sorry you had been through those times. So glad you came out of them and doing amazing.Take care.

22,741 - 22,750 of 27,230