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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Usually at least a weekend every couple of months - not nearly enough @Gazza75 Looking forward to the day when I can drive out there by myself. I have the use of a little caravan up there.

Hi @TAB hope your day is going well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That will be great @eth 🙂

Do you have another lesson soon?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't know when they will be @Gazza75 I think the OT has to do his reporting first. He said he'd be reporting to Roads and Maritime too which has me a bit anxious. No-one ever put me off the road, and I have a good driving record, it was my own issues that I stopped driving nearly 3 years ago - had a blackout while riding my motorbike which left me really anxious every time I drove after that. I'm hoping that having told the OT about that doesn't mean R&M say I have to get a learning permit all over again. I've had an open licence since I was 17 (now 56). And I know the OT has holidays now so I imagine I won't hear about lessons starting until he returns. Meanwhile have to fit in podiatry, optometry, bridge starting again, tai chi twice a week, psychologist weekly etc etc - feeling a little swamped by all that is coming up, but trying to remind myself that it's all my choice, and scheduling in down time between activities. Rave over!!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth wish you a good day. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

LOL @eth 🙂

Have all my good bits crossed that the RMS doesn't get involved and you keep your licence. I think worst case you would only need to sit your L's again. Unlikely, as you say no one took you off the road. Life is pretty hectice!!

I struggle trying to fit much in besides work. Don't feel I have much of a life.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Gazza75 and @Meowmy

@Gazza75 not sure where you are but community billboards such as you suggested to Donna1 elsewhere usually have lots of different local activities advertised. Also there's a movement called 'Meet Ups' in many places where groups of people with similar interests get together. For me I spent many years totally isolated and socially withdrawn so I get it. Since I came here where I have family support and eventually got NDIS funding I am much more goal oriented and making efforts to join in social activities. I'm also a member of a writers group and go to live reading events too. There could be a writers group or book club through your local library. If you do want to be more active it's worth putting some feelers out, tho' I get how hard it is to fit in when you have work and then recovering from work going on as well.

Hope you have a good day today. At least you get to gym regularly - that's got to help with balancing MH stuff.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth , i just find it all hard with work and as you said recovering. It's more challenging now I have MH to contend with as well. I have the gym and found a ne hobby that I am really enjoying.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to hear you have a new hobby @Gazza75 Can be so rewarding. I have complex PTSD and bipolar 1 to contend with myself. Today is one of those days where I have the day at home (there won't be many of them soon) and am dodging necessary tasks due to nil motivation. Going to have a break from forum time now and hopefully after a while I'll get up some momentum to do what I have to do. Need to clear my head so I can get up a ladder and clear my gutter amongst other things.

Have a good day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a good one @eth . Be careful scaling those ladders!! 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good on you for planning gutter cleaning. @eth

Mine should get done, but I dont feel safe enough to do it.

Hope the car stuff proceeds well.

I had my first OT yesterday, she seemed good and we have set a few long term goals. She gets that things are delicate and complicated, so maybe I will carve out some life for myself in old age ....

Then I had a meeting with my son and his gp. The gp arranged to see Josh on a fortnightly basis while they worked things out. SO that is a good outcome. My son was difficult and argumentative with me. I gave him his post and few ideas for accomodation, but he is digging himself into a hole. So I am VERY SAD about all that.

He went off with a new gf to socialise which I guess is good given his previous social isolation ...

Then I went to my gp for review on MH plan. SO we are providing medicos with work, which feels wrong, but sadly necessary.

I kept reaching out to my sister for 15 years, very rarely and wearily at the end, but it was all for nought.

I am feeling pretty battered and through the wringer with family stuff.

Going away this weekend for a vocal workshop in the country. Lucky I can afford it, though its not outrageous in price. They will be good people who I know from Community Music. I will try and enjoy the drive. I cancelled last weekend cos of my son, but he will be with other people this weekend so there is no point cancelling this one.

It is spoiling me to have alternative things on grand final weekend. WHen I went into my gp yesterday the whole clinic was decked out in tigers balloons. SOmehow my filter was off ... and I told the young receptionist that It was horrible it had invaded the medical environment cos I was reminded of my childhood and all the feelings of being bullied around football .... lucky I did not suicide ...and what I had to do to fit in ... everywhere ...so tired of fitting in ... I am not usually that immature and later took a prn and apologised to her and asked her not to take anything personally ...

BIG feelings of whats the point ....

So I am getting a great MH team and footie teams are triggering atm.

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