FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

22,261 - 22,270 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Former-Member

WOW as a response to where you were...what you have been through to get to where you are now...what you are achieving..

Lovely to read that you and your son are best friends..

nice to meet you

Sophia

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

Totally got it.

U can feel their emotions listening so much it takes u to another dimension.

Some songs just cant b repeated by another person. Karen Carpenter id say is one. Few attempt her songs.

It wasnt just the perfection of her vocal development but a combination of that the words & her honest raw emotions that got me.

I connected with her because i related to her pain associated with her mother.

Im going to watch the johnny cash show later this yr. I loved the movie. Wish it was on netflix.

Another very sad story with great songs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1

Thanks i really hit rock bottom alright. Threw everything i owned. Ive got no photos unfortunately to show my son.

Thats a bit sad.

Im a totally different woman now. No1 would ever suspect my past at all!!

Blew this Psychologist away. Hes very shocked.

To look at me ud never know i have a mi. Haha i scrub up so well

The turn around was after i had a stillborn. I had no $ in emergency hsing no car no family. Out of hosp 2 wks & got notice to move out.

It felt like life was saying u dont deserve anything. I was 37 & i cracked & started to speak out.

Everything had gone from my life i had nothing so nothing more to lose.

I just didnt care if my words would hurt cause i was aching with so much pain & sadness.

Having my son later was just what i needed to give me strength to stay alive. Im very happy i have him. Hes turned into a lovely teenager too.

Its weird cause i look back myself & really dont know how i survived my life. I was kinda in shock i think most of the time. Just existing from day to day. I really think i was just too traumatized to function in society.

Just glad i did get a turn around cause my bros havent.

Im not a drug addict nor an alcoholic anymore either.& i dont even smoke cigarrettes anymore.

Things r slowly getting better so ill just stay on meds whilst its going so well i think.

I can share my past with u people but i still struggle to get close to anyone here. Like i dont want people to c who i was or something. Its like i feel ashamed cause i have so little. However what ive overcome is huge just that they cant c that.

Hope that makes sense.

Thanks & nice to meet u

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member I know exactly what you mean about being able to share on here but not with people that are physically close. People that have not been in a situation cannot really understand things. And they do judge by what we do or do not have. I have so much that I feel shame about, but keep getting told it is not my fault. One part of me I think knows that, but my brain keeps repeating how it is my fault, I deserve everything, etc.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

Yeah i feel like people only accept me now cause 'I HAVE' now.

I have a car

I have a job (even tho its small)

I have a child

Before that no1 wanted to know me

I have nothing to show for overcoming everything & surviving what people did to me

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning to everyone!

@Former-Member @cutiepiekitty @Sophia1 @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Maggie @Jhaneylena @Adge @MDT @Faith_Hope_Love @Shaz51 @outlander @Owlunar please understand if I missed you I am sorry.

I'm doing pretty awful I have a psychiatrist appt in 1hour.

I hope you're all doing well.

Love Angels333

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 Goodmorning sunshine. You’ve got this. Hope all goes well. Thinking of you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333

At least you are seeing your psych. That is probably really good timing if you are feeling bad atm. At least you have an avenue right there for you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333

Hang in there

We're all for you

Hope the appt goes smoothly & u can resolve clarify a few things hey

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Angels333 Hope your appt went well.Had a second bad night after my appt mon. Nightmares and flashbacks are hard to deal with. Things are coming back that I did not remember before about some events, but still blank bits. Finding it a bit hard to cope with atm

22,261 - 22,270 of 27,230