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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is so beautiful @cutiepiekitty ❣️

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Gazza75 ,

Did ask my husband to have my back in the meeting. They actually had a meeting first with him alone so I dont know what went on during that time. I got invited in later. I wasn't very happy about how it went when I was in there. Basically I got the distinct impression that the psych believes my symptoms are psychosomatic and nothin that a good dose of psychological therapy wont fix. I was pretty annoyed and upset. Especially given I had explained all my symptoms and how bad they are, wrote out a list and took it in with me. Hes not planning on changing ny meds to try and make things more tolerable for me. So it was pretty suckey really.

Thank for your care Gazza. Didn;t get a notification for your reply in my hospital thread but thanks for replying there too.

I hope you are doing ok. Take care Gazza.

Doglover x

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks so much @Maggie , very much appreciated.

Doglover xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone. Once again i haven't time to catch up on all pages of posts across various threads but want to say thanks for all the tags and hello to you all @Former-Member @Doglover @Shaz51 @saturnzoon @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Sans911 @outlander @Bunniekins @Former-Member @MDT @Angels333 @Gazza75 @cutiepiekitty .

I have my mum here since thursday and through to monday - very challenging at times and I've snapped at her at least 3 times. Yesterday morning she actually said 'I'd better stick around and make sure you take your meds' ... No you f'ing don't. I'm a f'ing adult and I manage every day without help .... that's just one episode. I wish I could feel more love for her but I find it hard to even maintain eye contact when she's speaking.

Plus my adult kid had major surgery on thursday so they've been on my mind constantly and between that and trying to keep boundaries with mum I've just been exhausted to the point of wiped out. On top of a very intense and significant session with my psychologist on wednesday that I've not had my usual time to process.

So very sorry not to be offering more support to those struggling, but I'll be back on deck within a few days.

Wondering if anyone of you would like to host Saturday Soiree today as I won't be able to.

Take care all, go gently and peacefully as much as possible. s to all xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth I know completely re mum and medications. My mum is always on about me taking my meds and if someone usually in the newspapers does something bad and they have not taken their meds she is onto it like a flash! Drives me crazy.. I hope your mum behaves herself for the remaining couple of days for you.

Wishing your adult child a speedy recovery from operation and looking forward to speaking when you are back on deck. Take care peaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear from you @eth. Sounds really hard with your mum, especially with the extra stress and emotions with what adult child is going through and your own 'stuff' you work on and at usually. Tough times.

Thinking of you and hoping there is some peace for you soon ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you too @eth. Thanks for checking in and letting us know how it’s all going, and how you are going.

More hugs incoming ..... 💜💐

While I would love to host Saturday Soire for you, I am not in a place where I can at the moment ..... just wanted to let you know.

Just tagging @Shaz51 @MDT @Gazza75 @Meowmy in case any of you are free today and interested, or perhaps all of you could share the role ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Do what you need to do to get through this emotionally drsining time @eth

Hope your adult child is okay after surgery and that you can get through having your mum there okay. Family can certainly cause us a lot of stress particularly when they seem to be on our back all the time so look after yourself the best you can Hon. Hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth
Thabks for the tag my friend.
Take good care of yourself while you are taking care of your mum. It can be hard can't it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I will jump on it later today I think @Faith-and-Hope
Should be able to start it 🙂
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