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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Very tired, but otherwise okay thanks @Zoe7 @eth

Nothing exciting on, just lots of shopping to do.

I'm rather sore & stiff in joints - need a massage, but don't want to go out to get one.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Same here re: tired but okay @Adge I did all my shopping on Thursday and yesterday so have the weekend at home to get things done without needing to go out. Flat out with things for school but grsdually getting there.

It would be good if you could get out for a massage to ease those aching muscles but understand the want to stay home too. It is freezing and raining here so a weekend at home is good.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eudemonism look after yourself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Maybe you can get one when you go out to do your shopping @Adge . It's great that you look after yourself that way occasionally. It's weird but even tho' I was a massage therapist for 30odd years I never get one. When I used to I just found it fairly frustrating - I kept thinking what I would do differently and how much better that would be for me - sounds like ego but it was just that I knew what worked for me and never found anyone who I was really satisfied with. Do you have a regular mt that you go to?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You sound well-organised @Zoe7 You have all your shopping done (in the bag), so you don't have to go out.

I always feel better after a massage. Sometimes it seems like too much effort (& time) to get there.

Plus the cost is always a cause of stress - yes, if you want something good, you have to pay $$ for it.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes I do have a (semi) regular MT @eth

She's good, yet extremely disorganised. She often changes my appointments, at short-notice.

She takes 20 minutes (every time), just to process payment.

I'm only there for a 1 hour massage, yet the trip (with her delays) takes 2 hours every time - even though it's just 10 minutes away.

It's actually somewhat stressful being there (for a massage).

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So many things do come back to money unfortunately @Adge If you can afford it though do it - might help you feel a little better.

I had to go out and buy wool for the kids to do their pompoms so I did my shopping while I was out on Thursday. Forgot to go to the chemist so did that yesterday after work - so all organised for the weekend at home Have a lot to get done but have been working on it since early this morning - and had a really late night last night. Going to have a nap this afternoon before the footy starts though and then will get stuck into the work again tonight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hearing your frustration there @Adge . I always did home visits - even just having to drive straight after a massage can undo a lot of its benefits in my opinion. And payment really shouldn't take more than 5 mins max.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @Bunniekins I'm not really sure how my son who is 26 was using my card to buy the uber eats, when i first found out he said he didn't know that it was coming out of my card, and to stop using it, he said he changed it but it still comes from my card, he said he would pay me back but he hasn't and everytime I mention it, he goes off, same with kitchen and being to rough with Jacob. My 2 older boys were use to rough play cause their father was rough and Sean with his high functioning autism, was nasty to everyone but when I had Jacob there's 12 years difference between Jacob and my other 3, and I had split with ex when jacob was 5 so he never had the rough play and i'm sick and tired of telling Anthony to stop being rough, but after last night when i was at the Quiz night, jacob Didn't want to go, but i will not be leaving him with his brother again.

I'm just scared and don't know what I'm suppose to do, Jacob is seeing workers at school and told Anthony that he will, tell the teachers if he didn't stop and then Anthony apparently went off at him last night when i wasn't here.

I feel a failure to my kids cause I'm scared of everyone and family getting angry with me. I always do the flight and scaed off saying anything to the kids as they get angry, it's No way to live, I've done lots of groups and therapy to try and help me be stronger but they don't work, I've always been timid and shy and not stick up for myself, I just think that's my personality and no matter how hard I try I can't stop that side of me, being in my older age now I just try to accept it.

@Zoe7 @Mazarita @Meowmy @eudemonism @cutiepiekitty @Adge @eudemonism

@Angels333 @BlueBells @Former-Member @Exoplanet @Appleblossom @Ali11 @Sophia

@Former-Member @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon

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