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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Doglover please don't ever feel you need to apologize for delays in responding here. Life happens! And you might find you just want to really focus on what's happening where you are for a few days - just do what's best for you my friend. Here for you whatever happens. Hope the meds are being weaned gently and that they are giving you some sort of med relief during that process. Thinking of you.

Good morning @Appleblossom @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @Angels333 @saturnzoon @eudemonism @cutiepiekitty @Meowmy @Zoe7 @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Teej @frog @CheerBear @Queenie @Former-Member @Adge @MDT @Maggie @Former-Member @Sans911 @Snowie @Exoplanet @Sophia1 @Gazza75 @Macca00 and anyone else around this morning. Hope the day is starting gently and passes smoothly for all. Sending support to all who want it xx

Looking forward to catching up with people. Have another busy day today so not sure if I'll make it to Friday Feast tonight but will be around tomorrow for the Saturday Soiree if anyone wants to catch up with me.

Have 2 support workers today - 1 in the morning and the other in the afternoon. Will probably go for a beach walk with the first and then have water tai chi with the 2nd.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

Yea I'm hearing you. I see couples and think how lucky they are ... to have each other and to have a partner . But truth be known. They've got their fair share of problems. I think with me and many others it's engrained into us to want to be around others and to have a secure relationship /partner . As i get older I accept being single better . I'm past my bloom so to speak . But when younger it was definitely something i focused on alot. It was kind of driven by a fairytale mentality .

Eude

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Connections are improtant . Having the right connections available at the right time is also important .

Eude

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eudemonism what you say is very true. Having spent a couple of decades being totally isolated I really get that. Luckily I'm not so isolated any more, thanks to the support of my brother and sister-in-law mostly, but also being able to join groups since I've had support workers to get me out into the community. I had a 'friend with benefits' for many years until I moved here 2 1/2 years ago from interstate but no-one romantic in my life since then. Even when I was seeing him, I was very aware that my mental health management means I am not really up for a conventional relationship. There are pros about not having to be accountable to someone or negotiate every little thing. But I do still hope to share my life again one day. And he recently said he should never have let me go and will visit here in the not too distant future so you just never know what may come. They say you find someone when you stop looking. That fairytale really is pervasive, but not the way for everyone.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Doglover

I know you have been pushing the rock up the hill lately and I am glad you have finally been admitted into hospital

Yes - the first night has to be tough - as are the first couple of days - I found I would fit in - many long years ago - measured now in decades - I would go into a private clinic for a few days when necessary and do the hard work and be okay to return to the trouble at home refreshed

So let's hope you can find that help and refreshment for yourself - that would be so up-lifting

And don't worry about replying - do so when you feel up to it - we all need to take breaks from the forum at times

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

Just dropping in to support my fellow ravers -

If I really worked extra hard I might be able to work up some enthusiam about Melbourne weather - and yes - I know we are not alone in this - there are some bad storms around the South East corner of the continent

And it's shifting me toward booking my trip - Fridays are busy for me too Eth - I got up earlier this morning - I didn't sleep well with the Antartic winds belting icy wind, rain and I am sure - hail - against my window -

But on the whole I think I feel better today - weather aside

All the best with your support workers - a walk along the beach would be wonderful if you are not in Melbourne - and water tai chi - sounds relaxing - I wonder if I could find somewhere to do that

Keep up the good work Eth - on-line or in real-life - there's a lot more space in the world than there used to be because so much is on-line

I can imagine the water and tai chi is so graceful - it stills the heart and builds confidenceDec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eudemonism I know but I really feel that I want someone I can share with. I get so lonely. I want to be able to have someone I can lean on, vent with, have help from and not push them away or have them tell me what to do, where to go, ,what to be etc.. I really want to change so much but can't without help. And to do that I have to be able to let people into my life, but I am scared to

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty I feel like you, I would like to have someone by my side, but I don't think it will ever happen, I was in an awful relationship for 25 years with someone that was mentally abusive but stayed cause of my 4 kids, and it took a long stay in hospital for my melanoma cancer where he or my kids never came to see me that I finally realized that I couldn't put up with it anymore so we split 5 yrs now, I was a mess, I lost my house, depression got worse and ended up in hospital for quite a while, I feel glad I finally did it, but I do miss not having someone by my side but am scared also to have another relationship, I don't go anywhere to meet someone either except for my church, where I have finally been able to make friends for the first time, and as I'm in the last stages off life I don't see it happening, I just try to accept that this is my life now sometimes it's ok, but when you see couples around it does make you think about it again.

@Mazarita @Owlunar @eth @eudemonism @Meowmy @Ant7 @TAB @BlueBay @Bunniekins @CheerBear @Gazza75 @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @outlander @eudemonism @Former-Member @BlueBells Got paid DSP yesterday, checked my bank this morning and now I'm minus, I found out that one of my sons have been ordering food through uber eats and over a month he has spent more than $300 and I am fuming so angry with him and I can't stick up for myself cause I'm scared of my sons when they get angry I back away because of what I have been through with ex. So now I have no money for food and my bills are now being dishonored just after I had caught up with everything from my tax money.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

I've found that people and their stories quite often change and adjust, to keep up with everything, and to ensure they're getting the most out of everything for themselves. (It pays to beware of this ) alliances come and go depending on who stands to gain what out of any particular situation...

Eude

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty

Whether single or in a partnership . I'll still be the same person . And i think that goes for everyone . Maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be ...

Eude

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